Hayden's birth story.

I'm so happy to announce that our 2nd baby boy was born this past Sunday, February 19, 2012.  And I'm even more excited to share the story of his birth because it was just THAT awesome.  For real, it still gets my adrenaline pumping.  Last month I penned down Leeland's birth story for the first time-- if you've read his story, this one is going to be a little bit different. 

The goal of Hayden's birth was to have a natural (vaginal) non-medicated birth assisted by a midwife.  This post is by no means meant to bash doctors, epidurals or inductions because if you have read Leeland's birth story, you know I've been there. But this post is meant to let you know that there are other ways-- natural childbirth is possible, is real, and is WAY more rewarding and fun. 

Going into this past week, I was so incredibly excited and anxious about Hayden's upcoming arrival.  Those who know me personally know that I am absolutely terrible with surprises so I was driving myself a little mad wondering when he would be here.  You also may remember my 37 weeks post where I talked about things coming together for our water birth.  I had 2 lovely doulas ready for me to be in labor, the pool and all it entails, and my bags were packed.  Just anxiously awaiting the day that I could meet our boy. 

On two separate occasions this past week, I had what we'll call "false starts."  And I'm not talking Braxton Hicks contractions-- I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a long while now.  I'm talking false starts in a sense that I had a few real contractions, mild in pain, and then they would stop.  It happened twice and it really irked me.  They started and I got myself all worked up and excited and they stopped.  I say all this to let you know that this past Sunday when the contractions started once again, I honestly was still upset about them stopping before and shrugged them off as another false start. 

I woke up with the contractions at first around 630am.  I continued to lay in bed and breath through them thinking in my mind that they would stop and I'd be back to sleep in no time.  Daniel woke up soon after that and was getting ready to go to the gym like he does every Sunday morning.  I told him that I had been having contractions, he asked how many and I replied 7.  He asked me how far apart they were and I told him I had no clue.  He started to waver about going to the gym.  My prior "false starts" were only about 4 or 5 contractions so to him, 7 was a lot.  I told him not to worry about it and go to the gym.  I insisted that this may not be real labor and that he was getting on my nerves asking too many questions. (Sorry honey, you can't blame me for things I say when I'm in labor.)  After Daniel left for the gym, I was still having contractions and was officially awake-- there was no going back to bed.  I decided to hop in the shower to distract myself.  I remember standing in the shower and feeling Hayden's little tush sticking out on my right side.  I rubbed my side and asked him aloud if today was really going to be the day.  It was a sweet little moment, and now I know that it was a moment that was shared between us on the last day he was in the womb. 

Once I got out of the shower, I continued to assume the contractions would cease soon and just decided I needed to distract myself and work through them.  I folded and put away laundry, I picked up around the house, cleaned the kitchen and even made french toast.  Finally at around 930am, it started to hit me that this could be the real thing.  I wanted to call my doula, but then I was kind of embarassed-- I knew she would ask me how far apart the contractions were and I literally had no idea because I had been playing mind games with myself all morning.  I called Daniel at the gym and told him he might want to come on home and that I needed his help to time the contractions.  He got home and was 1st amazed that I was standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast while in labor, and he was a little panicked and wanted to rush out to the hospital.  I told him we needed to time the contractions before we started to do anything.... and up until this point, Leeland was still asleep so we needed to think about where he was going. 

Daniel started to time the contractions which was very confusing to both of us.  I was having 1 hard contraction and then I would have 1 or 2 smaller ones and then another hard-- it was a pretty consistent pattern.  We assumed we needed to time them all which would've put them about 2 minutes apart, which made Daniel really want to go to the hospital.  I still wasn't convinced or ready and decided I wanted to talk to my doula Jessica first and see if she thought that I was ready.  I called her on the phone and told her very vaguely about the contractions-- Daniel and I had no clue what we were doing so I feel like she didn't have a lot of information to go on. She called my other doula Bridget who happened to be close by in the area.  So Bridget came by to check things out and see how I was doing.  She asked about the timing of my contractions and since I really had no idea we started timing them.  This time around we only timed the harder ones and skipped the milder ones in between.  The harder ones were consistently 5 minutes apart. 

She suggested I contact our midwife/OB office and let them know that my contractions were about 5 minutes apart and lasting about 20-30 seconds.  I called and the midwife on duty, Virginia, she said that it was up to how I was feeling about coming in.  She said that 5 minutes was really good and since this was my 2nd child, she felt that I would be able to discern when I was ready.  They were gaining intensity and I knew that if it were up to Daniel we would've been to the hospital a few hours prior, so I told Bridget, let's give it 20 minutes and head out.  She called Jessica who happened to be about 20-30 minutes away so we decided we would meet her there at the hospital.

During all of this my in-laws had dropped by on there way out of state, and some friends of ours came by to watch Leeland.  Daniel installed Leeland's car seat into their car, and I packed Leeland a "just in case" overnight bag, and packed the last of my toiletries into my suit case for the hospital.  We headed out-- the dreaded car ride.  Up to this point, I had taken all of my contractions standing, walking and swaying.  Sitting hurt and it was hard to cope sitting.  In the 11 minute car ride to the hospital, I had 4 hard contractions-- I had white knuckles from gripping the car door handle and I refused to wear a seat belt.  Once we got out of the car, I had to fill out some admissions paper work and due to the car ride, I had sort of lost my rythym working through each contraction.  Once I felt like I had caught back up, they whisked me away to be checked for admission.  Only 1 person could come back with me at this point so Daniel did.  Standard hospital procedure was to check for dilation, contractions, and listen to the baby's heart-- standard procedure to verify labor and then have the doctor or midwife decide whether or not to admit you.  All well and good standard procedure, except when it is very clear that a woman is in labor.  I was annoyed, I didn't want to sit, I didn't want to lay, I wanted to stand and sway and lean over the bed.  The poor nurse that was assigned to me for this part was very very kind and didn't seem bothered by me not being very compliant.  She set out to find Hayden's heart beat which took FOREVER, mostly because of the position I was standing in made it hard for her.  Then she had to unfortunately have me lay down to check for dilation for a minute-- she was very cooperative with me and waited for when I was ready and she checked so quickly that I'm not entirely sure she got a good estimate and she definitely didn't know how effaced I was.  She said I was 5cm and insisted I sit in a wheel chair to be taken to a delivery room.  I wanted to walk, but she said the wheel chair would be faster and she had noted my rythym and pattern of dealing with the contractions and mentioned that in the hall there was nothing to lean over to cope.  Just before I sat down in the wheel chair I felt a couple gushes of fluid.  I honestly thought I might had peed myself-- we now of course know that my water had broken.

She was right about the wheel chair being fast.  We barreled down the hallway and collected Jessica and Bridget along the way.  We got into the room and everyone immediately started setting up our inflatable birth pool-- that's all that was on my mind as the contractions were getting more intense was how great the water was going to feel.  I had a nurse on my left asking me all kinds of preliminary questions about allergies and such and I felt a nurse around my waist trying again to find Hayden's heart beat.  I was standing hunched over the bed, and when contractions came, I would lean over the bed and sway a little.  They were harder and faster, I was sweating more than I ever had in my entire life.  Jessica was wiping my face with a cool cloth and both she and Bridget were blurting out little praises and encouragement.  I remember saying at least once, "I can't" and they assured me "Yes I can."  Someone got me a birthing ball and offered it to me to sit on.  All I could remember was the car ride and how sitting hurt so at first I was resistant, but then I sat down and it actually felt really nice.  I was still hunched over the bed at this point. 

It felt like literally just a moment later I felt a huge amount of pressure and knew that Hayden was coming. I blurted out, "He's coming!" and though I wasn't looking and had no idea what anyone was doing at this point behind me, there was a panic.  Daniel says that a nurse stuck her hand behind me at that point, and said, "Yes, the baby's coming!" and then everyone began to run.  I was assisted up onto the bed for fear that the baby was going to fall to the floor.  I wasn't trying to push but totally felt my body pushing him out on it's own as I was there on all 4's on the bed.  I was told that there was a flood of nurses at this point in the room trying to get the delivery table set up and everything prepared because he was coming so fast.  My midwife told me that she nearly took out 2 people running down the hallway.  All I heard was a voice say, "reach down and touch your baby" and a few moments later, "he's here, you can hold your baby!"  I think I may have only physically put in 2 pushes because my body was doing much of the work.  I rolled over onto my back and they placed Hayden on my tummy-- his cord was too short to go any higher. 

I was in shock and in awe at what had just happened.  We had literally just pulled up at the doors of the hospital an hour ago.... we had only been in the actual delivery room like 20 minutes.  The pool only had a couple inches of water in it.  It was SO crazy.  I was on a high-- Hayden was finally here, and what an incredible story of his labor.  I DID IT!  I had my baby completely naturally! 

What an incredible, incredible experience!!

Hayden was here!  He picked his own birthday, there was no induction, no needles, not even a standard IV because there was no time.  I surprisingly felt really good.  No tearing, and really only just a little swelling which is to be expected.  

Hayden latched to the breast right away and breast feeding has been pretty awesome and easy in the few days since which is not something that could've been said of my 1st son.

In a lot of ways, I'm still on a high and an adrenaline rush.

It was simply awesome!

Hayden Daniel Kroh

2-19-12    12:50PM

7 pounds, 9 ounces

19 inches long

And a very special thank you to my village who made this possible! 

Preparing for Hayden

I was beginning to wonder when the infamous "nesting" instinct would kick in. I've felt pretty sloth-like for the past month or so.  Kicking back and napping when I can squeeze one in.  I mean, absolutely no motivation to do anything.  The past 2 days though, I have really been checking things off of my list.  I'm not entirely sure that it's nesting, or if it's just trying to be productive to pass the time while Daniel is out of town-- either way, it's exciting to have a little extra energy, to feel accomplished, and to be a productive member of society. So without further ado, here are the things that I have accomplished:

• My car was inspected... and passed.
• Also, my leaky flat tire that I have continued to put air in about twice a week for the past month has now been patched.
• Made a few exchanges at Babies R Us, and picked up the last few things I feel like we need for Hayden.
• Put together our fancy new stroller-- our "sit-n-stand tandem stroller".  Exciting!
• Put away all of said baby items that were purchased and items from the baby shower which pretty much meant re-organizing Leeland's room entirely.  It took an hour and a half to find the proper homes for each thing, trying to make the room make sense and make the necessary items easily accessible. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment currently so the boys will technically be sharing a room.... or at least their stuff will share a room for now because Hayden will be in the pack and play in our room for a few months. 
• Washed all of the laundry in the house, including all of Hayden's new "itty bittys".  
• Washed, organized and put away all of Leeland's cloth diapers.  (Another area that needed re-organizing was the changing table to make room for Hayden's cloth diapers.)
• Packed the bag for the hospital! You know, THE bag.  Like my stuff, Hayden's things, change of clothes for Daniel.  All that's left is the last minute toiletries that I'm currently using.  
• Wrote out thank-you notes from the baby shower.  We were so incredibly blessed and I truly don't feel like a little note or just saying thank you is enough, but hopefully they appreciate it. 
• Visited the local Baby Boutique today and got the last of the diapers necessary for Hayden.  
• Washed and prepped all of Hayden's diapers.  Cloth diapers have to be washed 3-5 times before initial use-- it's cleaning the natural oils out of them, and fluffing them up, somehow making them absorbent.  
• Vacuumed out my car.
• Installed Hayden's car seat in the car.  Holy wow!  That's a wake up call, and quite a visual, seeing TWO car seats in my tiny car!
• Cleaned out the trunk.

All very exciting things!  Happy to have checked all of these things off of my list-- I can officially say that I am ready for this baby.  I'm not entirely sure why it took so much more time this pregnancy to get to that feeling of "ready," but I'm happy that we've gotten there.  I've moved away from that point of anxiety and fear of having two children.  There's peace now.  Now it's just waiting for him to decide when he wants to come.

Baby Shower

Today Hayden and I were completely blessed and spoiled by our family and friends.  It was a baby shower!!  I can't think of many things more fun than a baby shower.  Who doesn't love all the adorable itty bittys!? We can't say thank you enough to all of our sweet friends and family for not only the amazing gifts but also for all of the love and support.  We truly appreciate each and every one of you and are SO incredibly thankful for all that you have given us.

Thank you all for celebrating this special time with us!

Now we just anxiously await the arrival of our little man and can't wait to introduce him to all of you-- we know that he will be surrounded with love and kindness.

Doc Update.

Since I ranted and raved about being sick and upset with my doctor's office yesterday, I thought I should probably post about how today's appointment went.  Sure enough, it is believed that I have a sinus infection, so I was written a prescription antibiotic. I'm still a little weary about all of these medications and being pregnant but they have assured me that everything is completely fine to take.  Not to mention, on the back of my mind is the fact that labor is coming soon, and I really need to do what I can to try to feel 100%.  It really would be no fun to go into labor feeling weak like I do now.  So hopefully, I'll be feeling a little more perky soon enough.

In other news, I'm also currently 2 centimeters dilated!  So funny to me too.  Going into my 36 week appointment last week, I just KNEW that I was going to be dilated or have some sort of crazy progress-- I thought that I had been having a few "real" contractions along with my braxton hicks... When they checked me last week, I was completely closed.  Nothing.  I'm not gonna lie, I had gotten my hopes all up and I was a little disappointed, but 36 weeks is still early.  So going into today's appointment, I thought I had a few contractions the other night, but I have just been so sick that I really have just been in all kinds of achy pain all over, so I wasn't sure.  And since I was closed last week and really didn't feel much different this week, I just assumed it'd be another check of nothing.  I kind of didn't believe the doctor when she said 2cm.

It's definitely exciting to have made some progress but I'm not holding out hope that they baby is coming this week or anything-- I walked around 1-2cm dilated when I was pregnant with Leeland for about 4 weeks.  It's all just numbers.  It is comforting to know though that when the time comes, I only have 8 to go instead of 10.

Thank you to all who have covered my health and wellness in prayer! We SO appreciate you!  I am going to continue to rest, get better, and prepare for labor.

37 weeks

Today is February 1st which means it's birth month... maybe.  Technically they say that the baby could come anytime 2 weeks before the due date or 2 weeks after and 2 weeks after would put us into March so we shall see.  But for now, I'm thinking that this is birth month for our little Hayden. 

We are currently 37 weeks pregnant and I have some bad news/frustrations that I need to vent and I have some really awesome news.  Maybe I'll start with my rant so that we end on a good note and I end in a better mood.  Hopefully I don't bore you.

So this past week I have been pretty darn sick.  Leeland got sick 1st, he woke up Friday morning with just a snot nose and no other symptoms.  Honestly since it has been such a mild Winter and we've had very Spring-like weather here lately in NC, I thought that maybe it could've just been some allergies.  That is until I woke up Sunday morning with a snot nose and sore throat-- darn those irresistible toddler kisses that Leeland and I frequently exchange!  On Monday I called my OB office to tell them of my symptoms and ask them if they could bump my appointment up from Thursday so that I could be looked at- I was feeling pretty miserable.  Sore throat, runny nose, congestion, and a fever off and on.  The nurse told me that I should try to take some specific medicines and if that didn't clear things up in a day or so then to call back.  After I started taking the decongestants, I started to feel a little less pressure in my head on Tuesday and felt like things were draining and I was doing better.  Then last night I was up literally every 30 minutes blowing my nose with no end in sight, coughing my head off to the point that I couldn't breath and having serious night sweats.  I was miserable-- we went to bed around 11pm, I continued to wake up and wake up and finally at 4am, I was in pain, couldn't breath and was wide awake.

So after that rough night last night, I called the doctor's office as soon as they opened this morning to see if they could see me today rather than tomorrow-- in my head I'm thinking that the medicines they suggested aren't working and what if I'm dealing with something more serious like strep throat or a sinus infection.... and I have been super concerned about Hayden.  I haven't really been comfortable with the meds they told me to take and he hasn't been moving around as much, partly because I'm sure he's running out of room, but I bet it also has something to do with me being sick.  I called them at 930am and they said a nurse would call back..... 2 hours later I called again and was told that they were probably backed up and that they had to return "emergency calls" 1st and would call back.  At 1pm, when I put Leeland down for a nap, I laid down too.  I woke up at 330pm to find that I still hadn't received a phone call.  I'm sure there were some labors or some emergencies that they had to tend to before getting to me, but 6 hours?!  I called again, and once again the receptionist tried to shrug me off.... I started to cry... cry bad... I was beyond frustrated, I'm miserable, I can't breath, I barely have a voice, which makes it very difficult to keep a toddler in line.... I can't stand that my situation did not matter to them-- they continued to assume, "oh she just has a cold", rather than listening to my legitimate concerns, fears and pains.  I don't know that it's just a cold, I don't know that the sweet little boy I'm carrying is ok, I'm calling because I feel like I need to, don't disregard me!  With all of that said, it was too late for me to come in today and they suggested I bump my appointment up for tomorrow-- I was supposed to go in at 130pm, and instead will be in at 1015am.... and I do plan on letting them know that I don't appreciate the level of care I'm receiving.  No person deserves to be treated so poorly, not listened to, and skipped over.  If someone is calling a doctor's office, they are calling for a reason!  I don't call the doctor's office just to have a friendly chat, I call when there is a legitimate concern or need!

Ugh!!

Now to the good news!  Things are REALLY coming together for the birth of Hayden!  I am SO excited to tell you that the dream birth that I never thought I would have is coming into fruition.  Going into this pregnancy I had heard from a friend of mine that our local Women's Hospital is now allowing waterbirths-- you just have to bring your own birthing pool.  After watching several documentaries and hearing the birth stories of friends, I knew this was something that I was interested in-- which is why I switched OB offices to work with the midwives where I am currently going.  Daniel and I were required to attend a waterbirthing class before delivery if we were going to do it-- we went to the class back in December.  After leaving the class, we were very discouraged, and pretty much immediately ruled out my dream of the waterbirth.  The birthing pools are super expensive, even to rent them.  And it's not an expense that we can afford before the baby is born.  Also they said that it would be best to have a pool attendant to help keep the temperature right in the water and to help break down the pool after delivery.  At our local Women's Hospital, you deliver in one set of rooms/section of the hospital and then within an hour or so, they move you to the "mother/baby unit" for recovery and rooming in with your child the rest of your stay.  They said it was important to break down the tub within an hour of delivery.  Going into the class, I hadn't thought about an attendant and assumed it would just be Daniel and I in the delivery room, but I don't want him to miss out on bonding with Hayden because he's breaking down the tub. 

I felt a little embarrassed that I had raved about this waterbirth idea to friends and family for a while and now suddenly it wasn't going to be possible.  I kept silent about it.  Who wants to admit that they can't afford to have a natural childbirth? Then about a month ago, some friends had been posting blogs and labor stories and all sorts of encouragement related to waterbirths on my Facebook wall-- I finally broke down and replied that it wasn't going to happen for us and explained the reasons you see in the above paragraph.  The next day, I got a call from my friend saying, "Do you want to have a waterbirth?"..... Well of course.... but I can't.... to which she told me that she had already worked out all the details.  She had a pool from another friend that I could use, it just needed a liner (which later was donated by someone else, in exchange for donor breast milk.... awesome sequence of events), and I would need a hose to fill it up which she offered to buy for me as my baby shower gift.  She also had already contacted a Doula friend of hers who was willing to work with me for free.  Throughout this phone call I was nearly in tears at the grocery store.  I couldn't believe that not only she had gone out of her way to make all this possible, but also that things were falling into place, and that others were so giving.  I truly feel blessed to have these wonderful ladies in my life!

So we're now potentially 3 weeks out from having a baby and I am getting super excited about the birth of our second baby boy.  I hope to have an awesome birth story to share with you all once it's all said and done. 

Now I must go back to my resting, and trying to kick this virus.  I've already went through one roll of toilet paper on my nose.... Please keep me in your prayers that this virus leaves my body before I go into labor... because... well... I'd like to be able to breath while I'm in labor. :D

Leeland's Birth Story.

As the weeks continue to pass and we patiently wait for the time of Hayden's arrival into the world, I find myself reflecting on our sweet, handsome 1st born Leeland.  He will be 2 in April and I cannot believe how much he has grown over the past few months.  I am baffled each day by what he is doing and learning and saying.  Today I found myself clearing out my iPhone of photos, because it said that my memory was getting full and the other day refused to take a cute picture when I wanted it to-- many of the photos I found when I was going through the memories were of Leeland as a baby.  He was a baby at one point in time. And as I looked at those tiny little baby photos, wondering where the past 2 years went, I found myself thinking about his birth and what we have to look forward to with the birth of Hayden.  And then it dawned on me that I have never written out Leeland's birth story, so here it goes. 

Leeland's due date according to our doctor and the ultrasounds was April 11, 2010.  Honestly I was always weary of the date and never quite sure if it was right because my cycle had been so irregular.  They picked the date based off of his size in the first two ultrasounds that we had.  It was always very confusing to me though because at nearly every appointment in my last trimester, I was told that I was measuring too big.  In all actuality, the date is just a guess and technically he could come at anytime, but it was my first pregnancy and I was VERY attached to the date. 

I should also mention that I was very miserable the last few weeks, and I was SO SO SO anxious to meet my little boy.  In the last four weeks leading up to the due date, I was checked at each appointment to see if I was dilated or if there was softening of the cervix.  This is where things got to be VERY frustrating and VERY confusing.  When you go to a large OB practice, they rotate you through the various doctors because they want you to know each one, not knowing who will be on call for the delivery.  Each week I saw someone different, and each week I was told that I was progressing.  I went from 1cm, to 2cm, to even 3cm at one visit.  When they told me I was 3cm was when I had called in the last week and told them that I was feeling some unusual pain and had an increase in fluids and thought maybe I was leaking amniotic fluid.  They had me come in, checked me out and tested the fluid.  They said it was nothing and had me return home, but they must've felt sorry for me, or understood how ready I was to have the baby because they went ahead and set my induction for the following week.  The day before my due date, I went to the hospital and tried to be admitted-- I was having a few contractions here and there (nothing regular) and in my head, if I was at 3cm, then maybe, just maybe, they would decide to keep me.  I got in, undressed, was strapped to the monitors, and was checked..... I was then told I was only 1cm.  I tried to argue with the nurse at first explaining that just days before my OB told me I was a 3.  She played the "don't worry, he'll come when he's ready card."  I didn't like that, I was disappointed, I felt lame for embarrassing myself and coming in, I felt silly for getting my hopes up that they would keep me, I was ready to be done, I was uncomfortable, I wanted to meet my baby.... and I cried.... and I went home.

The next day was April 11th, a Sunday, we went to church.  We had been visiting some different churches at the time, trying to find our church home.  I remember being approached by several people in the congregation just introducing themselves and asking us how we heard about the church, what brought us there, etc.  I was pretty large at the time, so it would always come up, "when are you due" in which I would follow with, "today."  They always seemed so shocked, like I shouldn't be out of the house.  It was humorous, but what else did I have to do to pass the time?

As the few days before the induction came passed, I tried everything in my power to kick start labor.  I went on walks with our dog Lilly.  In fact, the Friday before his birth, I had walked 3 miles one afternoon at our local park. By myself, which probably wasn't too smart being so far along but in the end it did no good so it didn't matter.  I ate everything that the internet suggested, spicy food, eggplant, balsamic vinegar.  Nothing changed, and I didn't feel any different.  It was time to come to terms with the fact that I was being induced, and that I just needed to look forward to meeting our little guy in a few days.

The induction day came, we were to be admitted to the local Women's Hospital the evening of April 13th.  I think I was expecting to have him within a few hours that night, but that's not how it works.  We packed our bags, got checked into the hospital and settled into our labor and delivery room.  That night I was given Cervadil and was told that it would "kick start" labor, and also a sleeping pill to help me get some rest.  Not sure what I was expecting, but I didn't feel anything through the night.  The next morning the only change was that my cervix had softened some more-- apparently that's all that was supposed to happen with the Cervadil.  Around 8am I was hooked up to an IV of Pitocin and then sometime between 830 and 900, my doctor came in and broke my water with a large hook.  Immediately it was noted that my water was not clear, there was a large amount of meconium which essentially means that Leeland had pooped in the womb.  We had went over the dangers of meconium in our birthing class and I was a little worried by it, but my doctor and the nurse assured me that when it came time for delivery, Leeland would be suctioned and cleaned very thoroughly to ensure that he didn't inhale any of the meconium. 

As the day went on my family and Daniel's family were in and out of our room visiting and checking in.  My original goal was a "natural" childbirth.  In my head, I was still counting this as a natural childbirth because up to this point I hadn't had any pain medication.  In all actuality looking back, my natural childbirth was thrown out the window as soon as I accepted being induced. About 4 hours after my water broke, I began to get sick, as in throwing up.  We had been told in our birthing classes that this was fairly common, and I assumed I would be one of those lucky ones because I had been sick so much during the pregnancy.  Let me just say, that I can handle a lot of things.  I would consider myself at least somewhat tough, but when I get sick it is SO over.  I remember my morning sickness days early in pregnancy-- I'm talking about when I would curl up in the fetal position in the bathroom floor and cry for Daniel.  I'm a total sissy when it comes to sickness!  With all of that said, just because I was getting sick, didn't stop the contractions.  I had been able to stay on top of them and cope somewhat but suddenly, I found myself sitting up in the bed, hurling into a trash can and throwing in  the towel.  I remember saying the words, "I NEED and epidural."  Within 20 minutes the anesthesiologist was in to take care of it for me.  The rest of my labor, I layed in bed on Facebook  on my iPhone and watching TV.  The nurse came in every hour or so to check in on me and check my progress.  Just after 530pm it was time to push.

Pushing was a breeze.  I mean, I couldn't feel anything.  They had to tell me when to push because I had no idea when I was having a contraction.  The nurse was astonished by how well I was doing-- within 20 minutes, Leeland was almost out.  She had to halt me for us to wait on the doctor to come in.  The doctor arrived, I gave a few more steady pushes and out came Leeland around 610pm.

I'm not so happy that my original "natural childbirth" goal was thrown out the window and I'm really the only one to blame for it.  Sure I could point fingers at the doctors and their need to intervene and schedule things, but I was the one that didn't stand my ground.  I let a date get in the way, I was so focused on that date, and so focused on just getting it done.  As I look back, though I'm a little disappointed in myself, I know that it all worked out in the end.  In the end, I had a happy, healthy, handsome, 8 pound 6 ounce little boy in my arms.

31 weeks

I had Daniel take a few photos of Leeland and I before the Christmas Eve church service this weekend. I wanted to get a decent belly shot so that Hayden knows that he was here at Christmas loved and thought about. 

We had a midwife appointment this morning which was extra exciting because it was the 1st appointment that Daniel had been able to attend with me because of his work schedule.  I'm measuring right on point and Hayden's heart beat makes a beautiful sound.  There are some concerns about my thyroid levels being low so I had additional blood drawn today, but I'm not worried.  Other than some back pain, which is probably brought on not only by the pregnancy but also by chasing and lifting a toddler, I am feeling pretty great! Only 9 weeks left to go and my is time just flying by!

30 Days of Thanksgiving Days 11-20

Day 11: As we head out to Leeland's check-up appointment later, I am thankful for healthcare professionals.  *His check up went great this day by the way. At 19 months old he is 23 pounds, 1 ounce and a little over 33 inches tall.  Still very high on the scale for his height and low for his weight but he's staying consistent. 


Day 12: Today I am so thankful to know so many excellent photographers. Talented men and women who help us capture special memories as a family. Family photo session this morning with Alisa. Thanks Alisa!

Day 13: Thankful today for family.

Day 14: Today I am so thankful to have a working washing machine and dryer. They aren't anything fancy, but they sure do get the job done.

Day 15: I am incredibly thankful for coupons! It's always been tight around the Kroh house and it's so nice to have a little extra help to decrease the grocery budget. Every little bit adds up to make a big difference.

Day 16: I am extremely thankful today and everyday for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I don't deserve the many blessings he continues to provide us with. It's hard to think about my life before I knew Him, but I am SO happy that he brought me out of that life and made me new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Day 17: Thankful for this "challenge" that has definitely put some things in perspective.

Day 18: Very thankful for my AWESOME sister Paige who helped me clean the carpets today. Thanks sis! I love you tons! *A toddler and a dog can do A LOT of damage to carpets and it probably doesn't help that our carpets are white.  Unbelievably excited to have them clean!


Day 19: Thankful for my Granny. She is so selfless and loving of others. Enjoyed hanging out today with the family over some of Granny's delicious brunswick stew. (A yearly tradition to enjoy this yummy yummy food the weekend before Thanksgiving.)


Day 20: Thankful for more family time. Celebrating thanksgiving a wee bit early with my family today. Excited for all the good eats too--being pregnant during the holidays is the best!!! *On this day, we celebrated Thanksgiving early with my family because my sister would be out of town on Thanksgiving day. 

A pregnancy update.

I am now 25 weeks pregnant and seem to be chugging right along.  This pregnancy has gone by SO much faster than when I was pregnant with Leeland.  I think in large part, I felt like time was crawling by with my 1st pregnancy because of all the excitement and anticipation. It's like when you're a little kid, anxiously awaiting Christmas or a rare vacation to the beach.  Not to say that I'm not excited about the 2nd pregnancy, but I am nervous, anxious and unsure.  I look forward to meeting our 2nd son, but at the same time I am very scared about raising 2 very young children, and am worried about finances and supporting them.

I have been feeling baby Hayden's movements in my belly for quite some time now-- when I was pregnant with Leeland, I didn't feel him move until around 16/17 weeks, but this time around I started feeling some fluttering around 14 weeks.  Daniel even got to feel baby Hayden kicking and wiggling around for the first time a few weeks ago.  He seems to be a very active little boy and should fit right in with his older brother Leeland.

The morning sickness and nausea finally subsided around 19 weeks which I am very thankful for, and I have started getting my energy back-- though I will admit I still enjoy an occasional afternoon nap while Leeland naps.  All of those who know me pretty well, are well aware that I LOVE my sleep. (Just ask my past room mates.)

I mentioned in a previous post that we are going to a different OB office this pregnancy.  Not to say that I was disappointed in the care that I received at the previous office I was going to, but we are wanting to go a more natural route this time around.  The office we are going to has 5 midwives on staff, and I look forward to having a non-medicated, natural vaginal childbirth this time around.  We are attending a class in December on water birth and are leaning towards that.

My emotions this pregnancy have been sort of up and down which is pretty typical for a pregnant person I guess- Haha! In a lot of ways I feel very prepared, full of knowledge from all the books I read and classes I attended when I was expecting Leeland.  But on the other hand I feel absolutely terrified and completely unprepared.  So unsure about the labor of caring for 2 children, I feel it's so difficult to get to the grocery store with just Leeland.  I'm unsure about being capable of giving Leeland my best as a Mom, when I will be so sleep deprived with night feedings for Hayden.  Though we have much of what we need for Hayden such as some of Leeland's baby clothes, Leeland's infant car seat, and such. There is still much that we do need, like another crib along with mattress and bedding, small size cloth diapers (because we started Leeland around 5/6 months), another booster chair and some random odds and ends for baby's hygiene needs.  I know my family will probably provide me with a baby shower, but I go back and forth about whether I agree with it-- when we have most of the things taken care of, and people just gave us SO much a year and a half ago, I feel bad about "asking" them to give to us again.  But at the same time, when money is already tight, it's hard to calculate where the stuff will come from on our own.

So much to take in and sort out over the next 15 weeks.  One thing I am sure of, is that I look forward to this journey with Daniel.  We are a team, and we are in this together! I know that he shares the same excitement and also woes that I do which from conversations with other parents are completely normal.

It's an exciting time in our life, and the Lord continues to show us how bogus our plans are, and how we should be following after Him and giving over to His plans.

It's a.....

 Yesterday afternoon I spent about 3 hours at my OB office.  I was scheduled for an ultrasound- THE ultrasound, the 20 week anatomy one where you get to see everything, if you know what I mean.  They also did some blood work, a pelvic exam, breast exam, and I got myself a flu vaccine.  I feel that I have mentioned this before but due to Daniel switching jobs back in September, this was my first visit to the doctor's office.  We have in fact known for the past 15 weeks that I was pregnant, I took a home test, and had an ultrasound done at the Care Center I used to work part-time at when I was about 10/11 weeks pregnant.  With the switch in jobs though, we wouldn't have insurance until Daniel had worked for 30 days which meant October 1.  We didn't want to risk them not covering anything and saying it was a "pre-existing condition" so we just waited.  With the 2nd pregnancy, you kind of know what to expect or at least know the signs that you don't want to see.  That is part of the reason I think that the visit was so long yesterday, it was like playing a little bit of catch up.  Here's some adorable ultrasound photos of our 20 week and 1 day little baby:

 We are going with a different OB office this pregnancy, and I was totally stoked to find out that they had the ability to do 3D and 4D ultrasounds which the doctor's office I went to with Leeland didn't offer.  So nice to see such a neat picture of the baby's face.  In case you are alarmed looking at this photo- it looks like something is coming out of the baby's nose, that is actually the umbilical cord.  The baby hid behind it the majority of the ultrasound. 

And I couldn't resist sharing this sweet little baby foot!  Leeland likes this picture too, he likes to point out the toes.  The ultrasound tech said that the baby is about the size of a Barbie and weighs around 12 ounces.  They checked out every part of the baby, took all kinds of measurements and thoroughly examined the baby-- the baby is very healthy and perfect. 

Oh! And for that important little tid bit that you are waiting for.... The baby is a BOY!  We plan to name him "Hayden Daniel".  He is so adorable and perfect in every way already and I can't wait till February to meet him!  We love you little guy!

What I'm up to.

Guess what came in the mail yesterday!?  My new diaper bag! 

My new Skip Hop Studio diaper bag, fresh out of the packaging.  I ended up going for black because I feel like it will match the most things and I debated about whether or not a print would "get old."  I haven't started using it yet, but plan to break it in tomorrow when we are out of town.  I had only ever seen this bag online and not in person, and I just have to say this bag is HUGE!  Plenty of room for 2 babies items and Mommy's stuff too for sure.  I can't wait to break it in tomorrow.

In case your curious, we will be heading out of town for the Apple Festival tomorrow and visiting with some of my family that we haven't seen in a while.  Really looking forward to a little road trip with the family-- and will post pictures next week of course.

Lately I haven't been up to much-- just enjoying my time with Leeland and we had a few play dates this week. So nice to meet up with people, let the kids play and have adult conversation.  You all probably think that I have gone yarn crazy from my past few posts, but I have been working on a little crochet project this week. I don't want to spoil it yet, but here's a little sneak peek.

Crocheted hexagons.  Die hard crocheters will also notice the long tail on my hexagon which is would insinuate that I will be attaching it to something.  We shall see.  In the mean time, I am counting stitches and rows and making hexagons which will become an adorable little thing. The yarn color is called "Windsor blue" and it's a really pretty navy with sort of a gray tint to it.  I always find it kind of funny how I only tend to crochet in the Fall and Winter months-- something about the cooler weather and getting cozy on the couch with a ball of yarn.  Hope to finish this project in the next couple weeks.

Have a great weekend all, and safe travels if you will be going places too!

The 2nd time around.

So for the most part, after being pregnant once already, when we found out we were expecting again, I felt like I knew what was to come.  However I have to say that there were things that I didn't expect nor calculate going into this 2nd pregnancy. Here's a few things that I have been thinking about over the past couple days:

• 1st pregnancy, if I was tired, I took a nap.  Can't take a nap this time around with a toddler on my hands.
• 1st pregnancy, I had typical morning sickness daily as soon as I woke up from about 8 weeks to 15 weeks. 2nd pregnancy, typical morning sickness started around 8 weeks and is still going off and on at 17 weeks, on top of getting sick later in the day and throwing up whole meals.  Where did that come from?
• You show much sooner the 2nd time around-- 1st pregnancy I brought out the maternity clothes around 20 weeks, this time around I needed them at about 12 weeks. 
• 1st pregnancy, I had killer Sciatic nerve pain starting around 33 weeks.  I assumed that it would come back this time around, but not this soon-- Sciatic nerve pain began in the 2nd pregnancy around week 15.

One good thing is that I have noticed (knock on wood), my heart burn and indigestion hasn't been as bad this 2nd time around.  1st pregnancy, I chewed Tums after every meal, and often woke up in the night with severe indigestion.  So far, that hasn't really occurred.  Bald baby?  Probably. Leeland did have a TON of hair when he was born.  My Father-In-Law said that he was the only one that the nurses pulled out a brush for and brushed his hair after his bath in the nursery.

Just food for thought. 

Family decisions.

This upcoming week will be my last week of work. It feels exciting and also extremely terrifying to say that.  I've always wanted to be at home full-time with Leeland, and now that there's another on the way, it's even more important to me. Daniel recently took on a new job.  Going into it, I think we both thought that with his new job we'd made it big. We'd be rich!  Not exactly.... At this point it looks like we'll be making about the same with his one job as we were making collectively.  We're not losing any, but it will still be tight, and we're adding another child to the mix. 
The big deciding factor was child care. With Daniel's previous job, we could flip-flop our schedules and take care of Leeland. Now, he has a set full-time schedule and so we needed help watching Leeland while I was at work. We have friends and family who are close by who have been willing to help us out, but they have their own jobs and lives-- they can't watch him everyday forever. Not to mention, when #2 comes along, who wants to be responsible for 2 children. Daycare is super expensive, and even paying someone to come to our house and stay with him would be more than what I make. I mean, I work in the ministry.... If we were only bringing home $100 or so dollars after childcare with me working, then was it worth it?  After all, the best, most capable person of taking care of a child is the child's mother.
We've made the decision, but know that it will come with sacrifices.  It's more important now then ever to really count our pennies and pinch where we can. I will continue my couponing, and we have gotten really good about defining our needs versus our wants. We've kept a lot of stuff from when Leeland was little so there won't be many things we'll need for the baby-- a crib, and maybe about 10 more cloth diapers.
I am sad about leaving my job because I have really enjoyed it-- I have told them though that I would LOVE to volunteer some. 

The Lord has always been good to us, and has always taken care of us. Now is a time when we're stepping out in faith, in full trust in Him as we embark on this new adventure as a family.  Yes, it does require good stewardship and sacrifice on our part, but we are so excited about the many blessings as well. We truly feel that this is where He has led us and have had several confirmations along the way.

Where I've been....

I've been missing from the blogger world for a week or so now and I feel that once again I have to explain myself.  Two words-- MORNING SICKNESS.  Morning sickness really blows! (suddenly hears shouts of "amens" from fellow mommies.)  A friend of mine has this theory about children and pregnancy, she says that we Mommies get "pregnancy amnesia" after the baby is born. It is SO true!!! We have these miserable pregnancies where we are sick all the time, break out like a pre-teen, can't sleep and pee our pants (yes it happens... frequently) and then a year or two after the baby is born we start wondering, "what happened to my baby?", "I miss being pregnant!", "I'd love to have another!"..... NO!!  You just got all wrapped up in how darling your child is and you forget how miserable you were!  I have even found myself, as I'm lying in the bathroom floor hugging the toilet, saying to Daniel, "I don't remember it being this bad when I was pregnant with Leeland?!"  He cordially reminds me, "OH YES IT WAS, I remember."  Husbands are good for those helpful reminders when we aren't thinking clearly.

Seriously though, I have been SICK! And it really wasn't only morning sickness. This past week, I found myself with one of those 24 hour stomach viruses where I couldn't keep anything down for over a day-- not even water. We nearly went to the hospital, we called and spoke with one of the nurses and she gave me some handy tips to try first. (Praise God for a nurse that was understanding about us not really wanting to pay a hospital bill).

The good news though is that I am now 13 weeks-- and knock on wood, but much of this should be fading away soon!  In the mean time, I will continue to take advantage of the fact that this is the one period of time where I can play the, "I don't feel well card" and get away with being lazy around the house just a little bit longer. :0)

Our Ultrasound

I know, I know, you all are tired of hearing about the baby on the way-- well guess what, we have 30 more weeks of this. Just teasing-- we did go in for our more official ultrasound today where there was measurements and such. We had been basing our due date on my last cycle which puts me at 11 weeks. The measurements today put me at 10 weeks 5 days, so it was about the same.  In all reality the "due date" is really just a "guess date"-- nothing to write home about, the baby could come anytime 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after.  So our little one may not even be born in February!

Daniel and Leeland came this time and got to see the ultrasound.  It was really special to have them there. Daniel said it was really exciting and that he enjoyed getting to see the little fluttering heart.  Leeland sat in Daniel's lap eating goldfish and didn't really quite "get" what was going on.  Although I will say that he was a total ham and thoroughly enjoyed the attention he was getting from all of the ladies at the office.  And he brought home a fetal model of a baby that is 11-12 weeks-- just a little plastic baby.  He swiped it out of the basket and proceeded to put it in his mouth claiming the baby as his.  Kind of cool how the little model fit in his hands though-- which is how big his baby brother or sister is currently.  We did get a sweet little picture today that I wanted to share though. 

My latest love.

I recently ran across "Educated Mama Decals" on Facebook.  She makes vinyl decals that are used mostly for car windows but you can also put them on your cell phone, wallet, toys, or if your a sticker collector like me you just might have a guitar case covered in them.  I haven't ordered any yet (mostly because we're broke), but also because with baby #2 coming next year, there is talk of getting a minivan (fingers crossed)!!! And the stickers would need to go on the van so I can sport them around town.  But since I'm sharing, here are a few that I would LOVE to have.

 We are far from a "full" quiver of arrows, but I really love this scripture and Daniel and I like to tease each other and joke about our quiver. We truly our blessed with baby #2 on the way and I would totally sport this with only 2 arrows (so far). She does offer the option of ordering arrows "for the future."

 LOVE THIS! In case you don't know, the American Academy of Pediatrics recently changed their recommendation about rear facing your child until the age of 2. The current law is 1 years old and 20 pounds which is not appropriate for your wee one's developing neck. We are proudly still rear facing our 15 month old boy and will continue-- his seat will rear face to 45 pounds and he is always very low on the percentile charts for weight, so we have a long way to go before he'll be turned around!

 Love supporting breastfeeding! Many of you are aware of the struggles I had breastfeeding Leeland. SO many latch issues in the beginning which required SO much pumping, then working hard to get him back on to the breast-- and shortly after that, a battle with post-partum depression wiped me out. It was a sad sad time for me. I'm proud to have breast fed for a little over 3 months (that's more than most babies get), but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed also. With #2 on the way, that is one of the things I am most looking forward to! Giving breastfeeding another shot and this time I am determined to succeed!! So what I had a bad 1st time!? This is a whole different baby and a much more experienced Momma.

Yay for cloth diapers!! This one is pretty self explanatory. Just wanting to advocate and spread the word about cloth diapers. I still run into people that picture flats and plastic pants when I say cloth diapers. Cloth diapers are a whole different ball game from when my parent's were babies. SO many options out there, so many cool designs and something that would work for every family.

Secret's Out!

I'm Pregnant!!!!!

  

We have known for about 5 weeks now that we are expecting baby #2. We were not trying to get pregnant, but we trust in a mighty God who knows our plans before we do. (For the record, Leeland was unplanned as well. It happens!) When I first took the pregnancy test and broke the news to Daniel, we were both in shock for a few days.... and then in denial. When we had found out we were pregnant with Leeland in 2009, we told our families right away.... This time, it took a few weeks for it to sink in. It's not a bad thing, and we aren't disappointed, we're actually super excited! We just needed a little processing time for the "unexpected" this time around. As of today, I am 10 weeks and 3 days along and the estimated due date is February 22, 2012. We finally broke the news to the Facebook world and the Twitter world last night, and I figured I'd blog a little today. (So sorry I have been such a bad blogger by the way...) At least now you know why I have been avoiding the blog.

1.) I'm not very good at secrets and was very tempted to let the cat out of the bag on my blog-- I mean, I don't have that many followers anyway.

2.) I have been VERY sick and VERY tired for the past few weeks and have kind of become a lump on the couch. I am slowly getting my energy back the past couple of days, which is truly fabulous. Definitely ready to get into the 2nd trimester!

We have a day full of errands ahead of us, so I have to run but I couldn't blog without a few pictures to share. We received a new ulrasound machine at work last week and I got to be the guinea pig to test it out and make sure it works! So here is our little peanut! This was my VERY FIRST time seeing him/her at 10 weeks pregnant. I was quite emotional. And with all of the excitement of the new machine there was about 15 people in the room witnessing the very same little heartbeat, all of us completely in awe of God's creation. Enjoy!

I was told he/she was relaxing. He/she had it's arms crossed just lying down.