I am now 25 weeks pregnant and seem to be chugging right along. This pregnancy has gone by SO much faster than when I was pregnant with Leeland. I think in large part, I felt like time was crawling by with my 1st pregnancy because of all the excitement and anticipation. It's like when you're a little kid, anxiously awaiting Christmas or a rare vacation to the beach. Not to say that I'm not excited about the 2nd pregnancy, but I am nervous, anxious and unsure. I look forward to meeting our 2nd son, but at the same time I am very scared about raising 2 very young children, and am worried about finances and supporting them.
I have been feeling baby Hayden's movements in my belly for quite some time now-- when I was pregnant with Leeland, I didn't feel him move until around 16/17 weeks, but this time around I started feeling some fluttering around 14 weeks. Daniel even got to feel baby Hayden kicking and wiggling around for the first time a few weeks ago. He seems to be a very active little boy and should fit right in with his older brother Leeland.
The morning sickness and nausea finally subsided around 19 weeks which I am very thankful for, and I have started getting my energy back-- though I will admit I still enjoy an occasional afternoon nap while Leeland naps. All of those who know me pretty well, are well aware that I LOVE my sleep. (Just ask my past room mates.)
I mentioned in a previous post that we are going to a different OB office this pregnancy. Not to say that I was disappointed in the care that I received at the previous office I was going to, but we are wanting to go a more natural route this time around. The office we are going to has 5 midwives on staff, and I look forward to having a non-medicated, natural vaginal childbirth this time around. We are attending a class in December on water birth and are leaning towards that.
My emotions this pregnancy have been sort of up and down which is pretty typical for a pregnant person I guess- Haha! In a lot of ways I feel very prepared, full of knowledge from all the books I read and classes I attended when I was expecting Leeland. But on the other hand I feel absolutely terrified and completely unprepared. So unsure about the labor of caring for 2 children, I feel it's so difficult to get to the grocery store with just Leeland. I'm unsure about being capable of giving Leeland my best as a Mom, when I will be so sleep deprived with night feedings for Hayden. Though we have much of what we need for Hayden such as some of Leeland's baby clothes, Leeland's infant car seat, and such. There is still much that we do need, like another crib along with mattress and bedding, small size cloth diapers (because we started Leeland around 5/6 months), another booster chair and some random odds and ends for baby's hygiene needs. I know my family will probably provide me with a baby shower, but I go back and forth about whether I agree with it-- when we have most of the things taken care of, and people just gave us SO much a year and a half ago, I feel bad about "asking" them to give to us again. But at the same time, when money is already tight, it's hard to calculate where the stuff will come from on our own.
So much to take in and sort out over the next 15 weeks. One thing I am sure of, is that I look forward to this journey with Daniel. We are a team, and we are in this together! I know that he shares the same excitement and also woes that I do which from conversations with other parents are completely normal.
It's an exciting time in our life, and the Lord continues to show us how bogus our plans are, and how we should be following after Him and giving over to His plans.