Ninja Turtle Cake

Yesterday was my niece's 12th birthday and we're celebrating tonight with family.  I was a little shocked when my sister put in the cake request and I found out that she wanted a ninja turtles cake.
1. I wasn't aware that ninja turtles had made a comeback.
2. I wasn't aware that 12 year old girls keep up with superhero cartoons.
But either way, I was excited and nervous for the challenge.  She told me that she wanted a Raphael cake, and I immediately responded that Michealangelo is way better and that he needed to be on the cake too.... and you can't put those 2 without putting 2 more. So this is what I came up with....

It was already a well known fact that I'm a bit ombre obsessed, but I really like how the ombre gives this one a little femnine flair, it is a pre-teen girl after all. 

And for those curious, this is a new recipe-- it's a double chocolate sour cream pound cake, 2 thick layers of pound cake and a whole lot of vanilla buttercream.  I hope everyone enjoys it!

P90x Week 11 Wrap Up

DAY 1- Chest & Back and Ab Ripper:  Couldn't help but think back and reminisce a little to week 1 and how VERY FEW push ups that I could accomplish.  Confession-- I did a terrible job of writing down my work outs like Tony says to and so I don't recall exactly how many I did, but I'm fairly certain that I could count them on one hand, and then I would do a few on my knees once I burned out.  Now depending on the style of push up (who knew there were so many?) I'm doing upwards of 20 at a time.  Crazy!

DAY 2- Plyometrics:  Busy day today meant that it was a late night work out.  But it's better late than never, right? 

DAY 3- Shoulders & Arms and Ab Ripper:  Now that I'm almost finished with this challenge, I'm beginning to realize that Tony talks SOOO much!!  In the beginning it was a blessing because it explained each move thoroughly and gave me the rest time that I needed, but today I just found it obnoxious.  I think I shaved 5 minutes off of my work out time just from fast forwarding through his talking. Haha!

DAY 4- Yoga: It took a while for yoga to grow on me, and now that I actually enjoy it, it's often hard to get done.  It's the longest work out of all the DVD's and I've found that it requires the most focus. All of the other DVD's I cancomplete with the kiddos running around, this one, I need focus and peace which I just don't have in my life at this moment.

DAY 5- Legs and Back: Squats, squats, squats... 

DAY 6- Kenpo: Finished up kenpo this morning and still had a bit of energy so me and the boys went for a run with the jogging stroller. Good times, I feel great! Maybe the extra cardio made up for the piece of ninja turtle cake I had last night. 

DAY 7- Rest!  I had really considered running again on this day, but my legs are so sore from the past couple days.... Taking my rest! 

P90x Week 10 Wrap Up

Week TEN!!! Double digits!!  It's time to really push through and get over the week 9 funk!

DAY 1- Chest, Shoulders & Triceps and Ab Ripper: Stayed up WAY too late last night crocheting and didn't get moving for my work out until about lunch time.  Oops!  But praise the Lord that I got it in!  Left last week so frustrated with missed work-outs, so I'm incredibly thankful that this is a new week.  My body is SO sore the past couple days, part of that I believe is from the muscle variation from week 8, part from missing the work-outs that could've been used to work out some of the soreness, and part of it because of poor diet choices at the end of last week.  Working through though.  Gonna make week 10 count!  Last month!!!

DAY 2- Plyometrics: I really love plyometrics.  My growing love for this workout DVD has led me to the decision that my next work out program will include a little more high intensity cardio.

DAY 3- Back & Biceps and Ab Ripper:  Truly truly amazed at the growth in my strength.  Tony Horton definitely knows what he's doing.  I can't describe the feeling of accomplishment when I look back and compare my week 1 with now week 10.  It's amazing!

DAY 4- Yoga: miss

DAY 5- Legs and Back: miss

DAY 6- Kenpo: miss

DAY 7- Rest! miss

Did I really miss Day 4- Day 7??  YES!  This is by far the most misses I've ever had.  I've always felt guilty about missing a day here and there, and I wouldn't say that I don't feel bad about these misses, but I don't feel guilty.  I was totally overwhelmed by the loss of Lilly for one, and for two, we had a ton of stuff going on.  When I began this journey, I started out very diligently saying "no more excuses,"  but you know what?  LIFE HAPPENS!  I can't predict the future, but life is always going to happen.  This journey is no longer about the 90 day challenge, but it's about the lifestyle change.  When this 90 days is up, I'm going to keep going, but life will happen again, I won't always be able to work out 6 days a week every single week, and when  Christmas comes, I'll probably have some cookies. 

^^^ I don't say any of that to give anyone the excuse to sit on the couch with a bag of potato chips for 4 days, but I say it because I think we all need a little grace.  At the end of this 90 days, I will have worked out all but maybe 10 days, and in the great scheme of things, I'm doing more good than I am harm and that is awesome.  Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a little bit of grace which is a lesson I'm learning at the moment. (Special thanks to the ladies in my challenge group for the encouragement and helping me to understand this principle.)

Two Big Boys

Both boys got "new" (to them) beds today!  They are both very excited about their new beds, and I only pray that they both sleep very well in them.  Leeland was bumped up from a toddler bed to a twin size bed and Hayden was bumped up from our bed crib/pack & play to a toddler bed.

The toddler bed that Hayden will hopefully now be sleeping in was Leeland's.  The hand me downs have definitely been one of the joys of having 2 little boys so close in age.  All of the major expensive baby gadgets that Hayden has had have been passed down from Leeland.  We bought this toddler bed and all of the bedding at Ikea when we were pregnant with Hayden.  For reference, Leeland stayed in a crib until he was 2 years old-- Hayden is currently 18 months old, so I'm curious to see how this will go, but I've noticed that he doesn't sleep well in the crib or pack & play.  We co-slept for a really long time and so he always pretty much had free reign of our queen size bed, so I'm hoping the toddler bed will feel a bit more like the open space of our bed and that will help him get a good night's sleep.  Another reason for the early transition is that Hayden can be difficult to GET to sleep at times, he requires patting or rubbing his back or laying down with him, and I'm so incredibly sick of breaking my back and leaning down into a crib, it's exhausting.  The hope is that we can just lay down with him in the toddler bed and sneak out like a ninja once he's asleep.

Leeland's new bed on the other hand was actually my bed when I was a kid.  It's been at my Grandma's house for years and when she heard that we were looking for a twin bed for Leeland, she insisted on bringing it over.  (Such a wonderful lady!)  The bed wasn't looking the greatest, years and stickers (yea, I put stickers all over the headboard, some residue was left behind) had taken it's toll so we opted to paint it.  My first thought was to paint it white to match his dresser, and then my Grandma told me that people don't do matching sets anymore.  (She's more trendy than I.)  So we opted for something a bit more fun, and went with light blue.  Between all the sanding my hand, priming and two coats of paint, it took about a week to finish the project.

Leeland's 1st time sanding.  His excitement didn't last long and Mommy was stuck with the task.

Fresh coat of primer.

The bedding is by Dream Factory and we bought it here at WalMart (.com)  They also carry it at Kohl's for twice the price if you're in to paying more.  Leeland is pretty obsessed with all things transportation and this has pretty much everything on it-- tractors, trucks, blimps, airplanes, cars, and the added bonus was the police cars.

I don't think I remembered how high up this bed is.  It takes Leeland a minute to climb onto it, and Hayden can't get up there by himself at all.  He has NEVER rolled out of his toddler bed, so hopefully he doesn't start falling off the bed now.

He's one excited little 3 year old!  All of the sanding, priming and painting for a week was SO worth it to see that big smile.  He says that he loves his new bed and that it's "cozy."

Goodbye Sweet Lilly

I still remember the 1st time I ever met our sweet Lilly girl.  I had been living on my own for a while, but where I was living through college didn't allow any pets.  When Daniel and I were going to get married and get our own place, I think one of my first questions to him was, "Can we get a dog?"  I loved dogs!  Through college I pet sat for many people as a side job.  We came to the agreement that dog's were a lot of money.... if I paid off my credit card debt before we got married, then we could get a dog.  I was pretty stoked.  Marrying the man of my dreams, and we were going to get the dog I had always wanted!

I was working at Starbucks at the time, and happened to talk to one of my dog loving customers about how I was excited to get one.  She mentioned that she fosters dogs for the local Boxer Rescue and had one at her house at the time and asked if I'd be interested in meeting her.  Absolutely!  She brought her up to Starbucks, and I went out to the parking lot obviously for our very 1st meeting.  It was love at first sight!  The most adorable pooch I'd ever seen.  Of course boxers don't have tails, so that 1st meeting I recall that she could NOT stop wiggling her entire butt in excitement.  She was so loving and sweet and spunky.  And she had the softest fur I had ever felt in my life.

When we signed the documents and the adoption was final, we were told a little bit of her history.  They had no idea when her birthday was but the vet had made his best guess that she was around 4 months old.  We were able to make up her birthday because of this, and so we celebrated each year of her life on June 20th which was around 4 months back from the time we adopted her.  (June 20th was our engagement date and easy to remember.)  We were told that she was rescued with a sister.  The rescue doesn't usually rescue mix breeds, but she and her sister were an exception to the rule.  She and her sister were trapped underneath a trailer to try to survive as puppies.  They were literally fighting for their lives!  When they were both rescued, they continued to fight with each other and showed lots of aggression towards other dogs until they were split up into separate foster homes.  We were told when we rescued her, that she still showed signs of dog aggression but had been working on it with her foster family.  It was fine by us, because we didn't have any other pets that she could be aggressive with.  And we loved her.

Her 1st night HOME with me.  Daniel would join us in our home after we were married a few months later. We were starting a family! <3 br="">

That following January Daniel and I got married and he moved in.  And we enrolled Lilly into obedience school.  She picked up some new tricks and commands and she was able to be around some other dogs and we were able to work on some of her aggression triggers.

Fast forward to August.... we discover that we're pregnant with Leeland.  We were beyond excited of course, but we also knew that we had an aggressive dog and that brought some fears.  She had never acted out towards a human, but she hadn't really been around babies or kids.

Baby Leeland and Lilly

Baby Leeland and Lilly

Lilly in our annual family photos 2010.  Photos by Alisa Windsor.

After Leeland was born, Lilly took to him like she was a new Mom too.  Made me wonder why we ever worried.  She was a perfect angel.  And she was so curious-- as a newborn, every time he would cry, she would come running to the rescue.  It was pretty adorable to see.... so naturally we had no concerns when a year later, we found out that we were pregnant with Hayden.

.... And then the next year, we bought our first house.  One of the priorities on our house shopping list was a decent yard for Lilly to run around in.  She (We) had gotten a bit lazy apartment living.  The kids were taking up basically all of my day and she was getting walks less and less.  We so looked forward to a backyard that she could run around and be free in.

We found the house, bought the house, and then it became about saving up money to put in the fence.  Until then she was spending part time in the house and part time out in the garage.  We liked to play in the front yard with the boys (it's more grassy) and she would always join us out there.  We would have picnics, throw her toys, and go on occasional leashed walks around the neighborhood.  Aside from the few times that she would approach our next door neighbor's fence and growl and bark at their dogs inside, she was doing well.  And adjusting well to the new place.... And we were still looking forward to that fenced in backyard for her.

Enjoying her Christmas bone 2012.

Carving pumpkins 2012.

Enjoying popcorn, picnic in the front yard with Leeland and Hayden.

Fast forward to yesterday.....  Daniel had just arrived home and was inside for all of 5 minutes talking to me and the boys.  We suddenly hear a lady screaming at the top of her lungs out front.  Daniel ran outside..... not good.  When he came in, he had accidentally left the garage door open.  Lilly attacked another dog-- the dog lives 2 houses down.  The lady was out walking her dog on a leash like she does daily.  A much smaller dog than Lilly, a dachsund.

...... I can't even describe the emotions I was feeling in that moment.  Sadness, frustration, anger, anxiety..... She really seriously injured the other dog.  And the only thing that stopped her was Daniel running out and yelling at her.  The lady screaming didn't phase her at all.... if we hadn't been home and she had accidentally escaped, that dog would be dead right now. (And technically could still not survive.)  We had trusted her outside on her own for a few minutes here and there before.  I often would lift the garage door to let her use the bathroom and then come inside to fill her water bowl and food bowl before going out again to check on her.  Or during the day lift the garage and go about my business fixing the boys lunch, changing over laundry, whatever.  We trusted her-- she would always go out into the yard or the woods next door, use the bathroom and come right back in the garage or in the house within a few minutes.  I have no idea what got into her! The dog had to undergo surgery which is costing us over $650 and still climbing because there will be several follow-up visits.  (And none of that includes if the wounds happen to get infected.)

We were faced with devastation and a decision as to what to do-- and the only logical choice is to euthanize.  We reached out to the Boxer Rescue to get their opinion and to ask about re-homing her and with aggression at this state, euthanizing is all they could suggest.  She's a liability.

I spent the entire day yesterday crying.... I don't think I have any more tears in my body.  I can't believe our sweet Lilly girl did that!  The lady walked on the opposite side of the road, Lilly was never provoked, the lady's dog didn't even bark at her.  And our front yard is pretty big, she had a long ways to go to get there.  Completely unprovoked.... it's an offense that we have to take seriously.

She is costing us more money than we have in our account for this other dog's medical bills.
The chances are quite high if left out again, that at this point she will attack again.
She can't be trusted without 100% supervision.
Her aggression has clearly escalated to more than we can control and what if the next attack is a person?  Or Leeland? Or Hayden?

I know this post will likely receive judgment, and to those people, I have three things to say.
1. Keep it to yourself.
2. You don't know until you walk in our shoes how terribly difficult this is for us!

3. We know her better and love her more than anyone else.

So to our sweet Lilly girl,
I am SO SO sorry.  I feel terrible, and I feel like I failed you as your Mommy.  Your Mommy and Daddy and Brothers love you SOOOO much girl.  It won't be the same pulling into the garage after a day out of the house without seeing your little white butt wiggle.  There's nothing more special than the love that you gave us-- always happy and always so forgiving when the world and people around us are so harsh sometimes.  We will miss you so much sweet girl.
Love,
Mommy

Lilly Kroh

 June 20, 2008-August 23, 2013