Tuesday, January 12, 2016

To Step Back....

I was asked over a month ago about representing Doterra in an event that my old MOPS group was hosting.  A day to pamper the moms in MOPS was the idea.  I checked my calendar and saw that Daniel was off work and replied, "sure, sounds fun."

As the event got closer, I ordered supplies, made lists and checked them twice, along with rehearsing my spiel.  I really wanted it to be professional and to be a happy, fun event for the Mommas involved.  After all, I used to be in MOPS myself and know how rare and wonderful it is to be spoiled just a little by others.

Then the night before the big day came.... and I got nervous.  I spend my days chatting with kids, so I was a little nervous about conversation with adults for once, but on top of that, I was feeling anxious about Daniel having all 3 boys and taking care of going to our homeschool co-op with them.

He's heard all about our co-op, he knows his way around the church, AND he's kept all 3 boys alone before... and yet I was nervous FOR him.  While a lot ran through my mind, my biggest fear was a screaming baby disrupting Leeland's class and me not being there to do anything about it.

The day arrived.  My control freak self had taken special care to pack the diaper bag, pack lunches, and lay out children's clothes the night before all in hopes of a smooth process of getting out the door in the morning.  I got up extra early to get my workout in and calm my nerves, pumped the baby a bottle, took my shower and then went up to wake the big boys to eat breakfast before we headed out.

It wasn't until we were headed out the door that I saw it.... the excitement on Leeland's face.  And the excitement grew once we arrived to church for co-op.  Leeland was thrilled to show his Daddy where to go in the building.  He was excited to show Daddy his teacher, and his friends/class mates.  He wanted Daddy to see the lunch room and where we eat with friends.  Daniel was getting to see all of these things for the first time that I take for granted from Tuesday to Tuesday.

That's when it hit me.  My control freak tendencies are stealing the blessing.  I'm married to an extraordinary man!  He's my best friend, my favorite person, and the best teammate a girl could ask for.  He loves each of these boys just as much as I do.  He wants the best for each one and prays for each one and works so hard to make sure that they have all they need and some things they just want.   He's smart, savvy, strong, funny, and kind and is fully capable of managing our little people for a couple hours, actually longer than that!  And when I take control and try to manage it all myself, I'm stealing the blessing.  The blessing of a Dad seeing things for a first time.  The blessing of quality time between a Father and his sons.  And the blessing of big smiles on kid's faces!  Sometimes I just need to take a step back.

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