1 month breastfeeding.

www.asustainingbond.org

 Tomorrow marks Hayden being 1 month old! I feel like I want to dance that we've made it a month, because it has been quite the adjustment and then a part of me feels sad that it went by so fast in such a blur.  I will say with great excitement and enthusiasm that breastfeeding this time around has been much easier!

With Leeland we had latch issues.  He would scream and scream and be ready to eat, but we had the absolute hardest time getting him to latch to the breast.  The couple days we spent in the hospital, even the nurses had difficulty getting him to eat.  I was sore, blistered and bruised because even if he had a bad latch, I would leave him, so that he was at least getting something.  Once we got home from the hospital, he went a span of about 8-10 hours without eating.  I called the hospital and because all lactation consultants are anti-anything but the breast, they suggested me pumping a little and giving him breast milk from a medicine dropper.  The boy was starving, it wasn't helping, he was screaming and wanted food.  I made the executive decision to pump a bottle and give it to him.  He was hooked.... hooked on the bottle, and not me.  We exclusively pumped for at least 3-4 weeks and he eventually started heading back to the breast with the help of a "nipple shield."  It was hard work-- a newborn as is, is hard work.  At about 3 months, I was beyond exhausted. I had worn myself out, been with him ALL the time, asked for no help..... I went through Postpartum Depression.  Lost my milk supply and became even more devastated. I mean, I couldn't even feed my own child-- I called myself a horrible mom, I felt embarrassed that I had failed at breastfeeding.  I felt embarrassed that I had depression. I was miserable. 

www.asustainingbond.org

Having such a terrible time the 1st go at breastfeeding, I was nervous about how Hayden would do.  So far, Hayden has fed like a champ.  He latched to the breast within 30 minutes of being out of the womb and hasn't stopped much since. (Haha!)  I remember Daniel saying at the hospital that was one of the things he had prayed about-- bless him.  Daniel had such a rough time watching me try and try to feed Leeland, not to mention hearing him scream.  He had even jumped in and was helping me try to get him latched. (Wonderful hubby!)  Praise the Lord, this time has been easier.  The only blister I have gotten this time was sadly from my breast pump (wrong size shield) and was all better within a couple of days.  Hayden has had only 3 bottles since being born (breast milk in them), and he has transitioned back to the breast after having the bottle with great ease.  He is showing some signs of reflux, Leeland had GERD as well when he was young so it wouldn't be surprising, but it could just be since he has been sick.  It has been a much different experience this time!  I still wouldn't venture to say that breastfeeding is easy, but it's nice to know that it can be easier.  I'm loving this special time with the little dude even though it does take a lot out of me right now.  The goal is a year, but I'm trying not to get stuck on it with my past and knowing that anything could happen.  And I'm also being hopeful and optimistic that we could potentially make it over a year.