Lean not...

     Time and time again I am reminded of God's sovereignty.  I recently met with an old friend at Starbucks for coffee-- she wanted to meet up and talk about life and being a stay at home mom.  She doesn't currently have any kids but was thinking for the future as her and her husband intend to have children.  She had questions about how Daniel and I make it work.  This particular meeting was set up about a week in advance via Facebook messaging.  I was honored to meet with her and talk to her about being a SAHM, advocating for SAHM's and try to give her accurate information.  With this said, I had a week or so to get my thoughts together.  I don't really remember our entire conversation, and we sat and talked for about 3 hours-- the only thing I remember is leaving the Starbucks in complete awe of God's grace, love, and SOVEREIGNTY! 

     Looking back at the conversation as I got in the car to leave the Starbucks, I don't even think I gave her any true information.  The only thing I remember is telling her how God has worked in our family and my life over the past year.  This year has been a whirl wind for me, and I'm pretty sure for Daniel also. (SN: Can you believe we're a week away from Thanksgiving? WOW!)  In May 2009, I graduated for UNCG with a Bachelor's degree in Social Work.  I applied for probably upwards of 50 jobs not sure of where the Lord would take me (at the time I was still working at Starbucks).  I found out in July that I had gotten a social work position at "The American Children's Home" in Lexington.  I was SO stoked to finally use the degree I had studied  hard for, to work full-time, and to have a regular 8-5 schedule.  Probably about a week or so later I found out that I was pregnant with Leeland.  I had taken a home pregnancy test and the results were verified by my physician with a blood test.  I was incredibly excited! I jumped up and down in the kitchen on the phone with one of the nurses at my doctor's office and I'm pretty sure I let out a little squeal too.  It wasn't in our plans that I get pregnant only 8 months into our marriage, but it was God's plan.  

     No, we didn't plan to get pregnant with Leeland, but we weren't worried because I had a new job! It's so comforting to know that God provided me with a job before he provided me with the baby.  (I think He knows that I'm kind of a worry wart.)  My job at the children's home began as part-time so I continued working at Starbucks until the job went full-time in October.  There was a lot of stress that came along with that job, but I can honestly say that I truly LOVED it! I loved the kids that I worked with, the social workers I worked with, I even didn't mind writing the reports and doing the paper work. It was what I went to school for, and what I was meant to do at the time.  

     After working at the children's home for only 8 months, I was laid off.  The reason that I was given was that they were downsizing from 3 social workers to 2 as there weren't as many children.  I don't know if that is the  real reason I was laid off, but I have to trust that it is because that is what they said--and if it's true, then I believe it's a good thing that there are less kids at the group home.  I didn't take the lay off easy.  I was 8 months pregnant, Daniel was trying to finish up school, we would have to provide for a baby soon and I loved my job! I was very stressed, nervous and anxious.  I immediately started applying for ALL kinds of jobs and received no fruits from any of it.  

     Looking back, the lay off has been a total blessing in disguise.  Originally before I found out that I was being laid off, I had only planned to take 8 weeks off work.  I didn't think that we could afford to be without my income for the full 12 weeks.  Since being laid off, I have been at home with my sweet baby boy for 7 months! Being at home with Leeland is something that was taboo to me and something that I never thought was possible.  I don't want to give you a false impression-- it hasn't been an easy 7 months (not that I expected it to be) but it has been a blessing!  We had to make some cut backs, we don't go out to eat as often, or on dates as often (it's hard for Daniel to pry me away from Leeland anyways), we don't go shopping as often (that really only effects me), we are more careful at the grocery store.... 

     On top of the cut backs, Daniel has had to pick up a 2nd job.  He bounces downtown at a bar/club 2 nights a week.  The position opened up about 2 months after Leeland was born.  At first I really didn't like the idea, and still don't care for him to be gone so late at night (10pm-3am), but it has grown on me for one reason.  Well two, 1. we need the extra cash and 2. hearing of the impact he has had in the lives of those that work with him.  Many of the other bouncers (Daniel knew some before hand) were very curious when Daniel started working there.  Daniel is a righteous, Bible believing, conservative christian man.  I think they all wondered why he was there, and also were very curious about what Daniel would do given certain situations.  I'm sure he had quite the audience his 1st night.  Daniel has talked to several of the guys about God, a couple came to church with us (have now found there own church where they feel comfortable). And he even took a few out the the David Crowder Band/Chris August concert.  I don't like that Daniel is away from Leeland and I, I don't like that he has to be out so late at night, but God has shown us that he is exactly where he needs to be at this point in our life.  God is shining a light through Daniel at that night club and it has been fun to watch.  The night's that Daniel works downtown I get on my knees before I go to bed and I pray for his safety, for his spiritual protection (he has witnessed some bad things), and for his witness to others.  You can pray for him too, if you wish.

     All of this said, I want all of you to know that my God truly is an awesome God!  He is the one running the show over hear at the Kroh house, and I can't help but sit back in awe!  I have no idea what the future holds for us-- finances are currently pretty tight, as they are for lots of people.  I have applied for a couple part-time jobs (20 hours a week) and have considered going back to school for either my Master's degree or a 2nd Bachelor's.  We're doing a lot of praying about our future.  Daniel wants to pursue his dream of being a college football coach and I can't wait to see it happen.  Until then, we're trusting in the Lord and following after Him whole hearted. Because the only way that I can describe the whirl wind of this past year is,

 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 

And lean not on your own understanding; 

In all your ways acknowledge Him, 

And He shall direct your paths." --Proverbs 3:5-6