Monday, October 12, 2015

Mom of 3

We've all seen the blogs and the studies floating around cyber land about Moms and the amount of children they have and how easy it is or how difficult it is or how happy they are.  To add to the voices, here's my 2 cents for what it's worth and how the transition from 2 to 3 is going.  ... And it's worth 2 cents.

Just my opinion, but any time that you add a baby to your life whether it be your 1st, 2nd, or 7th, it rocks your world.  Looking back to just Leeland, I did all that I was supposed to do as a first time expecting Mom.  I read every single book I could get my hands on, read blogs upon blogs upon blogs, purchased every single helpful baby gadget that my friends raved about, by golly I pre-registered for his birth at the hospital MONTHS in advance.... Wanna know what happened after he was born?  Feeding issues, constant screaming, no sleep for me or for him, and postpartum depression.

I was prepared in every single way possible and still was shaken to my core, and in a place with postpartum depression that I struggled to climb out of.  I know that I came out of that place a better Mom, but it doesn't take away the struggle that it took to get to that better me.  I learned a lot about my expectations and I learned a lot about priorities, it changed me and it shook me.  Baby number 1 rocked my world.

Then baby number 2 came along and by then I was a seasoned pro to having one baby.  The struggle of my postpartum depression from the first was still in the front of my mind.  I knew that I wasn't going to put so much pressure on myself this time around and Daniel knew the signs to look for in hopes of avoiding it a second time.

... Our 2nd little bundle joined our family and he rocked our world.  Total Momma's boy, glued to me 24/7 in every way.  Nursing, nursing, nursing around the clock, absolutely refused to sleep anywhere other than right next to me in our bed, cried in the car, often cried when other people held him.  I did not battle depression this time around, but I sure was exhausted. And in the throws of it all, I was caring for a 2 year old, and learning how to do things like cook and clean and take a shower when this infant just wanted to be snuggled around the clock.  One of my first outings with the boys to a store I nearly lost the 2 year old in the shopping cart to the parking lot!  (For real, read here.)  Baby number 2 rocked my world.

And alas we come to baby number 3.  The one that I actually felt the MOST prepared for.... Mostly because now that I'm a somewhat seasoned parent, I now know that you should go into these sort of situations with absolutely ZERO expectations because you just never know what's going to happen.  By the time you are having your third, you somewhat know your priorities and can expect to fail and know that things will be different.

Birth went great, the first few weeks were bliss because all a newborn does is sleep.  Then Daniel went back to work and I was suddenly thrown into the trenches of keeping 3 kids alive and well and the pressures of keeping a home and cooking dinner and homeschooling.  There have been a few days that I could barely get off the couch and wondered if watching The Magic School Bus could count as school.  Days of getting pooped on and spit up all over and then wondering if it's still appropriate to go to church when I haven't showered in 2 days.  Just refresh the deodorant, right?  And then as we near the 2 month mark and I start to feel like I have it all together, I learn otherwise.  Like today for example, we finished all of our schoolwork without issues, everyone was happy and fed, I showered (woo hoo!), and I even managed to mop the kitchen floor for the first time in 2 weeks.  Super Mom, right?  ..... Then I lay my head on the pillow to nurse the baby before bed, and it hits me that today was Monday and I completely forgot about Leeland's soccer practice!  My memory of practice by then was only about 4 hours late.  So no, baby number 3 is almost 2 months old and I don't have it all together.  (And yes, I really had not mopped the floor in two weeks.)  Baby number 3 rocked my world.

All of this to say, life with an infant is tough.  You can read those blogs about those happy moms and how easy it was to transition to a certain number of children if you want to, but I'm not buying it.  In reality, we're all a hot mess, some just hide it a little better.  So keep on keeping on moms of little people, whether it's your 1st or your 10th, go easy on yourself.   The little guy or gal is going to rock your world those first few months.... maybe even the first year... but in the end, it will ALL be worth it, every moment and every shake up is worth it.

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