Trying to Have Hope

A lot of folks have asked about our closing date on the house-- if you haven't read "House Hunting " and "Under Contract", you may want to start there to understand how the journey to hopefully home ownership has been for us.  Our closing date according to our contract is supposed to be August 10th, which is less than 2 weeks away and is sort of a gray area for us at this point.  We've hit a snag in the loan portion of the process.  Without delving too much into our personal finances and issues, I will just leave you with this one point--  I remember as early as High School and well into college speaking to advisers/counselors, and financial aid folks about student loans.  I remember being specifically told that student loans were a "great" option because they have low interest rates, no deadline to pay off, and that they "can't hurt you.".... Let's just say that we've learned as we have graduated and entered adult life, responsibilities, and pursuing purchasing our first home that student loans actually CAN hurt you and they have hurt us.  (Not to mention, with the current state of our economy... loans just aren't as easy as they used to be.)

We learned last week that the home loan we applied for has been "suspended"... don't know what that means? Neither do we really, other then it means that it has neither been approved or denied.  We're sort of floating, I guess you could say.  Our lender informed us that we met all the requirements for the computer aspect of the loan and that the computer approved us, however when our loan was sent off to the underwriter, at the bank, the underwriter "isn't sure" she wants to sign off on our loan.  She doesn't feel cozy about signing off on us.  I'm not gonna lie, I cried.  This whole process has been a roller coaster of ups and downs for me-- I've never wanted something so badly, and I've never been so stressed and frustrated in my life.  Our lender (bless her) keeps trying to offer us a bit of hope.... She told me on Thursday that it's a good sign that it was just suspended and not out right denied.  If it were denied there would be nothing left to do, but with suspended we have a 50/50 shot... a little wiggle room... a little persuasion.  She assures us that she has been advocating for us to the underwriter and that she's doing all that she can.

I just can't seem to shake the feeling that I want to put together a fancy power point, march over to the underwriter's office and pitch a presentation called "Sign Off On Us Because..." It's so hard to even to sit here and write this without welling up a bit-- 50/50 isn't the greatest of odds, and to think that one person could have such an impact on our life.  One of the hardest things about it is, it shouldn't be a shock if we aren't approved.  We're really just starting out.  We're both still so young, barely any credit, Daniel just started his career last year.  I mean we've only been married 3 years.  But our "just starting out" is with 2 kids.  The Lord has blessed us tremendously with two adorable, sweet little boys.  Most people have the career and the house and the perfect white picket fence before they begin having kids. In the beginning of our marriage, we never even thought about purchasing a home or settling down because we wanted to be able to get up and move to where ever the Lord took us-- we were both still in college when we got married and we weren't sure what kind of jobs we would find.  I don't know how our families felt about it, but we were always both open to even moving states.  In the midst of all the undecided Leeland came along... and soon after that Hayden.  Daniel was blessed with a great job opportunity and sure enough, we're sticking around.

All this is just to say-- that where we are now.... where our contract is now... is just clinging to a hope.  A hope that we get a chance.  The Lord has walked this journey with us, and even in the midst of the frustrations of house hunting, I've felt His presence there.  Ultimately I've placed it in His hands-- I can't say that I have no emotions about it, or won't be disappointed if things fall through because that simply isn't true.   But I'm just trying to trust in His plan, and the blessings He has in store for our family and our boys.

My Big Boy

Leeland is growing up!  He has a "big boy bed!!"  We purchased his bed, along with all the bedding accessories at Ikea.  He loves his new bed and he loves his cars bedding.  Today (nap time) has been his first time sleeping in it (just put it together last night), and I have NEVER seen him more excited to take a nap.  So precious!  I can only hope that the new bed excitement never wears off and he continues to love nap and bed time. :)

He's growing up so fast!  The hope is that he'll get used to his new bed over the next few weeks before we move.  His new room will be themed all around transportation cars, trucks, etc.  We're all very excited! 

Kid's Photos Fail

4th of July I got the bright idea to take some photos of the boys together-- honestly I don't pull out my camera that often and was pretty excited about it.  The above photos are the results-- tears and pouty faces.  Leeland typically enjoys holding/hugging his little brother, but on this occasion grew noodle arms and pushed him away.  He was wailing for his cup, which I was trying to keep out of the photos.  Hayden was upset because Leeland pushed him away more than once, and the sun was in his eyes.

Let's just say that this gives me a little bit of anxiety about this years family photos. :0/

Under Contract

Well the house hunting hasn't been the most fun experience, but we are finally under contract.  We found a home just a few weeks ago that we fell in love with-- it's move in ready and it's the perfect size for our little family, with just a tiny bit of room to grow... not that we necessarily will grow. (Haha!)  This step in the process has me all antsy and anxious!  It's just a waiting game now-- our realtor is getting all the necessary checks and inspections taken care of, and we're just waiting on the final final nod of approval from the bank.  Since this is our 1st home, we know absolutely nothing about buying a home.... and even if we did know what we were doing, there's not a lot that we can do right now.  Just waiting. And praying.  And trying not to get too excited.... just in case.

Things we look forward to most owning our own home:
-A yard for the boys to play in.
-Hayden sleeping in his own room.... Love the boy, but I need some space.
-A kitchen that more than 1 person can fit in.
-Colored walls!! And the seller already has beautiful paint throughout the house.
-Excited for Leeland to transition into his "big boy bed" and the crib will go to Hayden.
-Having people over.  We have on an extremely rare occasion had people over at our apt, but I've just always been embarrassed to hang out here... it's small, and not very pretty.
-The hot tub... yes, the house comes with a hot tub. :)
-Being closer to my family, we currently are about a 30 minute drive from them and when we move, it will be more like 10 minutes.
-A clothesline! Yes, a clothes line.
-Oh! And I almost forgot, a garden!! By the time we're in & settled, it'll be too late or one this year, but next year will be awesome! 

We don't want to count our eggs before they hatch, but we are pretty excited at just the thought of our own place.  We just continue to pray and trust, and know that if it doesn't work, He has a different plan for us.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.

-Philippians 4:6-8 

Hayden at 4 months!

The littlest Kroh is growing like a little weed!

-At his 4 month check up, Hayden weighed 15 pounds 6 ounces and was 24 3/4 inches long.  I am totally smitten and in love with his little chubby thighs!
-Hayden is rolling over.

-He is becoming so much more alert to his surroundings.
-Loves playing in his bouncy chair with anything he can get his hands on. And loves his little gym.
-He likes the sound of his own voice and spends much of the day squealing, giggling and gooing.
-He's all around a very happy baby!

-We haven't given baby food another try yet... mostly because I have been lazy, so for now, he gets only Momma's milk. :)
-He adores his big brother Leeland, and smiles the biggest smiles when Leeland talks to him but especially when he hears Leeland laugh.
-.... And still sleeping through the night! (Yay!)

We just feel totally blessed to have this little man in our lives!  Look forward to all the memories to come as a family of 4.

Happy 4 months little man!