Under Contract

Well the house hunting hasn't been the most fun experience, but we are finally under contract.  We found a home just a few weeks ago that we fell in love with-- it's move in ready and it's the perfect size for our little family, with just a tiny bit of room to grow... not that we necessarily will grow. (Haha!)  This step in the process has me all antsy and anxious!  It's just a waiting game now-- our realtor is getting all the necessary checks and inspections taken care of, and we're just waiting on the final final nod of approval from the bank.  Since this is our 1st home, we know absolutely nothing about buying a home.... and even if we did know what we were doing, there's not a lot that we can do right now.  Just waiting. And praying.  And trying not to get too excited.... just in case.

Things we look forward to most owning our own home:
-A yard for the boys to play in.
-Hayden sleeping in his own room.... Love the boy, but I need some space.
-A kitchen that more than 1 person can fit in.
-Colored walls!! And the seller already has beautiful paint throughout the house.
-Excited for Leeland to transition into his "big boy bed" and the crib will go to Hayden.
-Having people over.  We have on an extremely rare occasion had people over at our apt, but I've just always been embarrassed to hang out here... it's small, and not very pretty.
-The hot tub... yes, the house comes with a hot tub. :)
-Being closer to my family, we currently are about a 30 minute drive from them and when we move, it will be more like 10 minutes.
-A clothesline! Yes, a clothes line.
-Oh! And I almost forgot, a garden!! By the time we're in & settled, it'll be too late or one this year, but next year will be awesome! 

We don't want to count our eggs before they hatch, but we are pretty excited at just the thought of our own place.  We just continue to pray and trust, and know that if it doesn't work, He has a different plan for us.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.

-Philippians 4:6-8 

Hayden at 4 months!

The littlest Kroh is growing like a little weed!

-At his 4 month check up, Hayden weighed 15 pounds 6 ounces and was 24 3/4 inches long.  I am totally smitten and in love with his little chubby thighs!
-Hayden is rolling over.

-He is becoming so much more alert to his surroundings.
-Loves playing in his bouncy chair with anything he can get his hands on. And loves his little gym.
-He likes the sound of his own voice and spends much of the day squealing, giggling and gooing.
-He's all around a very happy baby!

-We haven't given baby food another try yet... mostly because I have been lazy, so for now, he gets only Momma's milk. :)
-He adores his big brother Leeland, and smiles the biggest smiles when Leeland talks to him but especially when he hears Leeland laugh.
-.... And still sleeping through the night! (Yay!)

We just feel totally blessed to have this little man in our lives!  Look forward to all the memories to come as a family of 4.

Happy 4 months little man!

House Hunting

At one point in time, house hunting, or maybe it was just the idea of house hunting was exciting and fun.  The hope and joy found in the idea of owning our own place, the image of the boys having their own rooms all decorated up, a larger kitchen.  To be able to paint walls! The thought of having an actual pantry to store our canned goods, or to be able to open the dishwasher and the refrigerator at the same time if I really wanted to.  To plant a garden, or to just play in our own backyard....

The idea of house hunting sounded so much fun to me for all of those things listed, but in actuality, it's not the hunting part that's fun, it's the home ownership part.  The hunting is a nightmare!

For the most part, without the help of a realtor friend and my parents, we have gone into this hunt very blindly having no idea what we're really looking for, what we really want, what area we want to be in and how we go about getting what we want.  We're still unsure of a few of those things.  The process with the bank had a rocky start, but we finally got a pre-approval.  We've looked at 4 houses live and in person and we have even put an offer in on 1.  It's been terrible!

We have a small budget so it's been hard balancing what's affordable with what's in a good neighborhood and requires minimal work to be move in ready.  On top of that, my parents have us asking things like how old the A/C is, water heater, roof and all of those major things-- I'm blessed to have them looking out for us.  If it weren't for them, we'd be moving into a new home that looked nice, but have a broken A/C in 100 degree NC August heat, and mold under the house.  Yes, I did mention we have no idea what we're doing.... we looked at and liked a moldy house. 

And just when the going gets rough, we find a GEM!  A beautiful gem-- a quaint little house owned by a widow who happens to be the original owner with her husband.  Only 3 minutes from my parents house, carpet so clean that I could eat off of it, elegant landscaping, perfect flat backyard for a swing set.... just perfect. Perfect in so many ways for us and our growing family.  Absolutely NO work needed to move in which is unheard of in our price range!  So we put in an offer.... only there's a competing offer.  A competing offer so good that it blows ours out of the water.  So much so, that they didn't come back to us to ask for our "highest and best" because theirs was BEST....  I sort of jokingly told our realtor that I felt like Nemo in a world of sharks and it is totally true.  Not a joke.  Even now I get teary eyed thinking about that perfect house.  Just so perfect!  I'm ashamed and I feel like a total scum bag even saying it, but I continue to look at it online and just keep thinking that there's always a possibility their contract will fall through.  I am total scum for even thinking it-- that's like wishing harm on someone else's life.  :0/  The reality is that, though that house seems so perfect to us, it isn't our perfect house, because if it were, it would've worked out.

It's been stressful and hard.  Maybe it's still the post-partum hormones or something, or maybe I'm just an emotional person.  I just keep getting my hopes up to be let down.  The anticipation and the longing is a little too much.  Daniel and I had talked on the car ride home from looking at "the moldy home" (before we knew it was moldy), talked about Christmas there and picturing where our Christmas tree would go.  At "the gem", I pictured my cloth diapers flapping in the wind and sunning so quaintly on the clothesline in the backyard.  I pictured us saving up for a swing set for the boys to enjoy in the backyard. 

Even today, I did a drive by of 2 cute houses that are for sale next to each other.   The 2 houses are absolutely adorable!  The neighborhood, however is trash and not a place I would consider raising our boys.  Another let down.  I don't know how much longer I can do this-- in reality, the house hunting has only just begun, but my heart aches and can only take so much let down.  After a while, a person loses the hope....

A Third?

Why is it that immediately after you are engaged, people ask what the date of the wedding will be? Well, considering you were just engaged... Spent 5 minutes in shock, 5 minutes crying, and 5 minutes kissing before calling all your friends & family to announce the good news, you probably haven't considered a date. Especially since the wedding planning doesn't start immediately and even then, a venue is needed for the date.
Or why is it that 1 month into your happy marriage, people are asking when you plan to have a kid. Can we enjoy marriage first? Maybe get a puppy?
You probably see where I'm going with this.
Our 2nd child was probably only a week old before we were asked if there would be more....
So to answer that question, we aren't sure. The idea of a 3rd sounds lovely in the future should we be blessed in that way. The key in that sentence is "in the future!" Honestly, neither Leeland or Hayden were planned by us. The Lord knew they were coming, but they were surprises to us even though we were using some precautions. It would be nice to plan a child.** (Or even adopt a 3rd child.... Something that i have researched some and Daniel and I have talked briefly about.) Not to mention, a 3rd child would be expensive--we would have to get a minivan, because we are definitely outgrowing the civic. And we would definitely need to get a bigger place to live!
So there you have it folks, for now we're just enjoying being a family of 4 and have no idea what the future holds.

**After reading this, I feel led to add a note.  Many of my friends struggle with fertility, and some women who read this who have had those struggles may be cringing at this post.  This post is not meant to complain about our "surprises" and many of you may wish that you didn't have to "plan" a child.  But looking at it from our perspective, because we didn't plan, we weren't prepared financially for kids.  We have really struggled and have really had to pull ourselves up by our boot straps to make things work and there has been a lot of extra stress.  Not to mention, children change relationships.  We found out we were expecting Leeland 8 months into our marriage.  We were still newlyweds, and truly still getting to know each other.  If we had things to do over, we still wouldn't change a thing simply because this is our family.  We love our boys more than anything, and they are part of what makes us, us.

Hayden @ 3 Months!

At 3 months Hayden has become such an easy baby! (Knock on wood.)  Here are some things he's up to:

-Way more alert!
-Is a total chatterbox, and really loves to giggle with Mommy.

-He seems to think he's a "big boy" and likes to stand up and sit up all the time, of course he can do neither on his own.
-He tried rice cereal last week, mixed with a little breast milk.  It's still a bit early, but Leeland was eating cereal with a spoon at 3 months, so we got excited and tried it.  He doesn't really get it and isn't into it so we'll give it a few weeks and try again.

-He likes to hang out and play on his own, and often with his big brother.  He loves his little activity play mat/gym and will chat with all of the animals hanging down, swat at them, and chew on them.
-For the past week, he has slept through the night! Woot woot! We can only hope that continues.  He goes to bed around 10pm and wakes up between 7am and 8am.
-He has been putting himself to sleep!  I nurse him, burp him, and lay him down awake and he nestles until he's cozy and passes out.  And 95% of the time, there's no crying about it.  (Leeland was the same way as a baby, he never wanted to be rocked or patted to sleep.)

Adjusting to 2 is going a lot smoother now and I am so happy that things are getting better.  Those first couple months were ROUGH... and we still occasionally have our days.  I'm just taking 1 day at a time, and everyday we gets a little easier.  We are so blessed to have 2 handsome boys with such great personalities!