A Third?

Why is it that immediately after you are engaged, people ask what the date of the wedding will be? Well, considering you were just engaged... Spent 5 minutes in shock, 5 minutes crying, and 5 minutes kissing before calling all your friends & family to announce the good news, you probably haven't considered a date. Especially since the wedding planning doesn't start immediately and even then, a venue is needed for the date.
Or why is it that 1 month into your happy marriage, people are asking when you plan to have a kid. Can we enjoy marriage first? Maybe get a puppy?
You probably see where I'm going with this.
Our 2nd child was probably only a week old before we were asked if there would be more....
So to answer that question, we aren't sure. The idea of a 3rd sounds lovely in the future should we be blessed in that way. The key in that sentence is "in the future!" Honestly, neither Leeland or Hayden were planned by us. The Lord knew they were coming, but they were surprises to us even though we were using some precautions. It would be nice to plan a child.** (Or even adopt a 3rd child.... Something that i have researched some and Daniel and I have talked briefly about.) Not to mention, a 3rd child would be expensive--we would have to get a minivan, because we are definitely outgrowing the civic. And we would definitely need to get a bigger place to live!
So there you have it folks, for now we're just enjoying being a family of 4 and have no idea what the future holds.

**After reading this, I feel led to add a note.  Many of my friends struggle with fertility, and some women who read this who have had those struggles may be cringing at this post.  This post is not meant to complain about our "surprises" and many of you may wish that you didn't have to "plan" a child.  But looking at it from our perspective, because we didn't plan, we weren't prepared financially for kids.  We have really struggled and have really had to pull ourselves up by our boot straps to make things work and there has been a lot of extra stress.  Not to mention, children change relationships.  We found out we were expecting Leeland 8 months into our marriage.  We were still newlyweds, and truly still getting to know each other.  If we had things to do over, we still wouldn't change a thing simply because this is our family.  We love our boys more than anything, and they are part of what makes us, us.

Hayden @ 3 Months!

At 3 months Hayden has become such an easy baby! (Knock on wood.)  Here are some things he's up to:

-Way more alert!
-Is a total chatterbox, and really loves to giggle with Mommy.

-He seems to think he's a "big boy" and likes to stand up and sit up all the time, of course he can do neither on his own.
-He tried rice cereal last week, mixed with a little breast milk.  It's still a bit early, but Leeland was eating cereal with a spoon at 3 months, so we got excited and tried it.  He doesn't really get it and isn't into it so we'll give it a few weeks and try again.

-He likes to hang out and play on his own, and often with his big brother.  He loves his little activity play mat/gym and will chat with all of the animals hanging down, swat at them, and chew on them.
-For the past week, he has slept through the night! Woot woot! We can only hope that continues.  He goes to bed around 10pm and wakes up between 7am and 8am.
-He has been putting himself to sleep!  I nurse him, burp him, and lay him down awake and he nestles until he's cozy and passes out.  And 95% of the time, there's no crying about it.  (Leeland was the same way as a baby, he never wanted to be rocked or patted to sleep.)

Adjusting to 2 is going a lot smoother now and I am so happy that things are getting better.  Those first couple months were ROUGH... and we still occasionally have our days.  I'm just taking 1 day at a time, and everyday we gets a little easier.  We are so blessed to have 2 handsome boys with such great personalities!

Let's Be Real & An Update

Daniel brought it to my attention within the past couple weeks that I hadn't blogged in a while.  My reply was first just that I didn't have anything to say, but let's be real-- more than a month has passed and LOTS of things have happened.  The real answer is that I didn't have anything that I wanted to say.  To be honest, this month has been full of ups and DOWNS.  I went through a period of depression, we had sad news and exciting news, and the boys have grown up a ton. 
The beauty of the internet is that you get to choose what you put out there to people-- so unless you follow my Facebook and read a few of my super "Debbie Downer" posts, you may not have known that I was depressed.  Honestly it was bound to happen, I tried my best to avoid it, prepared for it knowing it would be a struggle since it was after Leeland was born, but sometimes life just gets a person.  Life can be stressful-- and I let it stress me out. 
One of the things that I have come to appreciate about blogging is the few "real" women out there blogging.  I used to follow LOADS of blogs and keep up with reading each and every one, but lately I gravitate to those few ladies who are honest and truthful.  They tell it like it is-- they aren't happy, happy all the time.  I want to be one of them.  I want to be real. 
So there you have it folks-- typed out for all to read.  Post Partum Depression is no joke.  It's very real and it's a daily struggle for many. 

So what has happened with us in the past month:

-Hayden turned 3 months old and even tried some rice cereal for the 1st time.
-We gave potty training an attempt with Leeland, wasn't a total fail but we also haven't hit the point where it "clicked" yet so we're back in diapers.  We plan to give it a try again soon.
-I got a new bathing suit which I am in LOVE with!  It's super cute, and honestly pretty sexy to be a one piece.  And it is a "control top" or spanx like suit, so it sucks in the post baby belly.  Never, ever pictured myself at age 25 being stoked about spanx like things, but I also never pictured myself at 25 with two kids. Mmkay!
-I started a new Bible Study at church on Wednesday mornings.  We're doing the Beth Moore "James" study, they offer child care, so I'm not only enjoying the study but also the adult time.
-MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) came to an end for the year.  I have already registered for next year, and even sort of volunteered myself to be a table leader.... what was I thinking? Haha.
-I started running AGAIN, after being interrupted, and unmotivated from the depression.  Kind of amazing how running exerts lots of energy, and yet the days that I run, I have more energy.  Doesn't make sense, but exercise is good for my body and my mind.  Plus it's "Mommy time."
-We got a pre-approval from a bank to try to buy a house.  Still sort of a long shot and our budget is pretty small, so we're trying to keep from getting too excited but it is kind of fun to think about being out of the apartment and into our own home. 
-Leeland became that kid that knows all of the characters on Nick Jr.  I tried to avoid it, but when you have a newborn and you're in a funk yourself, TV becomes your friend.  He never used to sit and watch like this but now he's really into it.  Trying to limit it daily, but depending on the weather, outdoors isn't always an option. 
-I celebrated another Mother's Day.  Daniel had to work all day, so it was truly a day spent with my boys.  Love them!

I'm sure there is more that isn't coming to mind at this moment.  But I'm back to blogging, and more inspired.  The Lord has taught me SO much in this past month that I wouldn't even know where to begin-- so much about being appreciative, about perspective, and I have truly felt his hand taking care of me and literally lifting me out of the funk. 

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have 

overcome the world. " --John 16:33