Friday, August 6, 2010

Date Nights

Anyone who thinks having a kid doesn't change their relationship with their spouse is kidding themselves.  There's extra stress and an extra strain.... Not to say that you don't love it!  Being a first time parent brings new adventures and new stress.  Now typically when people think about stress they automatically assume that it's negative, but stress can be caused by good things too.  Like for instance, the 1st time you decide to host thanksgiving dinner at your home with all of your family.  That's a great thing, spending time with family-- all for it!  However, cooking a turkey along with fixings and cleaning the house.... that can be stressful.  A new mommy is exhausted physically and emotionally.  She's giving all of her attention to her new child, and sometimes there isn't much left over for the spouse.  It's important to remember that you loved your spouse first.  You married your spouse before your child was there (hopefully).  You vowed to them and promised to them that you would give them your all, therefore it's important to take breaks and go on a date!  Keep the passion... and the ROMANCE alive.  What?  A good Christian girl can't talk about romance?  Sex within marriage is spoken about in the Bible, and it's completely ordained by God.  In fact, I think it's encouraged! Both my Mom and my Mother-In-Law have mentioned to me the importance of romance in marriage.... in fact both have mentioned it since Leeland was born.  So to all of you new mommy's or soon to be mommy's keep that in mind, even when you are exhausted, and even when you have a "headache", keep the romance going.  

Now all of this aside, we all know that time alone with our spouses is important, but let's get straight to the point and the mistake that I made.  I didn't want to leave Leeland.  I didn't want to ever take a break.  I thought that I was some sort of SUPER Mom.  I thought it would make me a bad Mother if I left him too early.  Daniel and I waited until Leeland was 13 weeks to go on our first date.  Daniel had been begging to take me out and I just wouldn't have it.  Granted, I was nursing at the time so it did make it a little more difficult, but not impossible.  It took going through a battle of post-partum depression to go out on a date with my husband.  I was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally.  I was crying everyday.  I wasn't doing my best to take care of Leeland, because physically I couldn't.  And I lost my milk supply (which sunk my depression lower, because I was the "bad mom who couldn't feed her kid").  If I could do it again, I wouldn't let it get that far.  You're not a bad parent to leave your child.  And if you're like us, you probably have plenty of family that's willing to take care of them and love them just as much as you do.  It's just a matter of setting aside the time.  We left Leeland for about 5 hours the 1st date.  We caught dinner at Carabba's and went to the movies to see "Despicable Me."  Leeland stayed with Daniel's parents and he was still alive when we got back. :D I will admit that I was sad the 1st time I left him, and even though he was left in completely capable hands, I'm not gonna lie, I thought about him the whole time and I even worried a little.  But the date however, was WELL WORTH IT.  Daniel and I needed that night SO much.  It was nice to have adult conversation, splurge a little on ourselves for once, be a spoiled wife, and give Daniel my complete attention.  For once we were in a restaurant and not sitting on pins and needles hoping our child doesn't wake up and start to cry.  It was wonderful! I looked forward to that date the WHOLE day.  I felt like a giddy little school girl waiting on her 1st crush to come pick her up.  Now I just can't wait for the second date!

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