It wasn't until I became a Mother did I ever worry about, "what if something happened to me?" I'm not talking about the after-life or what will happen to me, because I happen to believe in a wonderful Savior and I know there will be a party in Heaven. What I am referring to, is what happens to those around me? More importantly, my children. You see, I'm kind of a control freak when it comes to my children-- I don't get away from them much and when I do, I definitely don't leave them for long. It's not that I don't trust people, I just want things done my way and to ensure that, I do it myself.
I find myself worrying often about who will raise the kids, what big events I will miss in their lives (graduations, weddings... etc.) I do many of the household chores that involve the children such as washing their diapers and clothes. At one point in time, I had even considered writing down exact instructions of how to wash and care for their diapers for Daniel just in case.
To many, this sort of anxiety may seem extremely unusual and really quite morbid, but for me it's very real. My Mom passed away just before my 8th birthday. She had breast cancer. She missed many of the big events in my life, and sadly because I was so young when she passed, I really don't have a whole lot of memories of our time together. Many of the times that I do remember are when she was sick.
With all of that said, I recently started journaling to the boys. I have two leather journals- 1 for each of them. I'm just filling the journals up with memories, and essentially letters to them. I date each letter and end them with an "I love you." My hope, is that when I am gone from the Earth, it can be a reminder to them of how much they mean to me. It will be filled with the memories that they themselves may not remember for being too young, or too much time passing. I don't write in their journals everyday, but they do contain some milestones, and funny stories. The hope is that when they are of age, I will be able to give them the journals myself, but if something happens, Daniel will pass them along and I hope that they will cherish each and every letter from the past.
A little peek into our nest-- watch us have fun, grow, and time fly by.
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
The norovirus taught me.
If you read my germs post, it seems that we just can't catch a break around here. What we thought was just a 24 hour bug that Leeland had, turned out to be norovirus.... And we all got it. Here's a totally TMI list for your entertainment of what the norovirus has taught me.
1. If one person in the family gets it, we all get it. We would like to think that little Hayden was spared from the virus, but honestly he spits up and poops all the time as it is so how would we know if he had it?
2. We need softer toilet paper.
3. A 3rd crib sheet would be a great investment for times like this when I'm constantly washing messy sheets.
4. I should chew my food more. (Yea, I went there.)
5. In reference to #2, Desitin is not just for babies and works well for adults as well.
6. Sleep is the best healer.
7. When Mom is out of commission, it takes a toddler approximately 15 minutes to completely demolish the living room.
8. You can mix Pedialyte with ANYTHING, including milk should your 2 year old scream and beg for it.
9. Pedialyte is not just for children.
10. Our house is due for a MAJOR disinfect of germs.
1. If one person in the family gets it, we all get it. We would like to think that little Hayden was spared from the virus, but honestly he spits up and poops all the time as it is so how would we know if he had it?
2. We need softer toilet paper.
3. A 3rd crib sheet would be a great investment for times like this when I'm constantly washing messy sheets.
4. I should chew my food more. (Yea, I went there.)
5. In reference to #2, Desitin is not just for babies and works well for adults as well.
6. Sleep is the best healer.
7. When Mom is out of commission, it takes a toddler approximately 15 minutes to completely demolish the living room.
8. You can mix Pedialyte with ANYTHING, including milk should your 2 year old scream and beg for it.
9. Pedialyte is not just for children.
10. Our house is due for a MAJOR disinfect of germs.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Germs.
2 1/2 weeks before Hayden was born, Leeland came down with a pretty terrible cold. I happen to think that it was one of the worst ones he has had in his short (just under) 2 years. It lingered around forever. He passed it to me-- 2 weeks before Hayden's arrival, I was put on antibiotics for a sinus infection. It was terrible.... Being sick and pregnant. I can't even describe how miserable I was feeling. It mostly cleared up in just enough time for Hayden to make his big entrance. Leeland's cold however was still lingering and by this time, Daniel had caught it himself, and I had a lingering cough. 3 of us sick with a newborn. It was inevitable for Hayden to get sick. At 9 days of life, I rushed him to the ER because he was so congested and having a hard time breathing. He was diagnosed with RSV. I spent 2 nights in the hospital with him while he (his oxygen mostly) was being monitored. Once we were released from the hospital, Leeland's cold started to get better. Now it was time for Daniel, Hayden and I to get over it. Slowly Daniel and I started to get better. Then Leeland came down with a stomach virus-- thankfully just a 24 hour bug, but there was lots of throwing up, and several loads of laundry done. The next night (after Leeland was better) Daniel got the stomach bug-- only his was a little more than just throwing up.
Now Leeland is better, I am all better, Daniel is getting over his stomach bug (but mostly better), and Hayden still has some lingering mucus from his RSV but is doing much better.... It's been hit after hit for a month and a half. We have NEVER dealt with this many viruses/illnesses. My only guess is that it has something to do with Leeland being much older and having lots of play dates, and subsequently he is at an age where he is actually playing WITH other children. I'm so exhausted and frustrated with all these germs we keep passing around. All I have to say is....
Now Leeland is better, I am all better, Daniel is getting over his stomach bug (but mostly better), and Hayden still has some lingering mucus from his RSV but is doing much better.... It's been hit after hit for a month and a half. We have NEVER dealt with this many viruses/illnesses. My only guess is that it has something to do with Leeland being much older and having lots of play dates, and subsequently he is at an age where he is actually playing WITH other children. I'm so exhausted and frustrated with all these germs we keep passing around. All I have to say is....
Welcome Spring!
Please be kind to us!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
1 month breastfeeding.
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| www.asustainingbond.org |
With Leeland we had latch issues. He would scream and scream and be ready to eat, but we had the absolute hardest time getting him to latch to the breast. The couple days we spent in the hospital, even the nurses had difficulty getting him to eat. I was sore, blistered and bruised because even if he had a bad latch, I would leave him, so that he was at least getting something. Once we got home from the hospital, he went a span of about 8-10 hours without eating. I called the hospital and because all lactation consultants are anti-anything but the breast, they suggested me pumping a little and giving him breast milk from a medicine dropper. The boy was starving, it wasn't helping, he was screaming and wanted food. I made the executive decision to pump a bottle and give it to him. He was hooked.... hooked on the bottle, and not me. We exclusively pumped for at least 3-4 weeks and he eventually started heading back to the breast with the help of a "nipple shield." It was hard work-- a newborn as is, is hard work. At about 3 months, I was beyond exhausted. I had worn myself out, been with him ALL the time, asked for no help..... I went through Postpartum Depression. Lost my milk supply and became even more devastated. I mean, I couldn't even feed my own child-- I called myself a horrible mom, I felt embarrassed that I had failed at breastfeeding. I felt embarrassed that I had depression. I was miserable.
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| www.asustainingbond.org |
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Hayden's birth announcement.
I discovered a really awesome shop on Etsy. It's sara luke creative and she sells all kinds of neat invitations and announcements. We ordered Hayden's birth announcement from her last week, and then loved her stuff so much, we also ordered Leeland's birthday invitations from her. (Because next month we'll have a 2 year old.) So I already posted Hayden's cute newborn pictures, so here's the adorable announcement!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Target Parking Lot Fail.
This week has FLOWN by! For real. I am officially the Mother of 2 and this week has had it's ups and downs. Leeland and I have both had colds this week, and Daniel has been busy studying for a big exam he had today. Hayden has jaundice and our week has been filled with doctor's appointments and home visits by nurses to check in on him. I'm not entirely sure what I expected as far as becoming a Mother of 2.... I know I didn't expect it to be easy, but I don't think I calculated added stresses of sickness to the mix.
Anywho, today we got out of the house for something OTHER than a doctor's appointment. We needed some baby supplies and a few other random items, and I had a coupon to Target for $10 off so that's where we headed. (Not to mention, I really just needed to be out of the house.) Leeland was in the cart and Hayden was wrapped snug in the sleepy wrap I'm borrowing from a friend. Hayden slept the whole time in the wrap and Leeland chatted my ear off about everything he saw in the store and said hello to all who passed us by.
Then we get out to the parking lot. The weather here in NC has been nuts! We got 3 inches of snow this past Sunday and then yesterday and today it has been in the 70's! Weird. But also there is a thunderstorm rolling in supposedly for later this evening, so today it is WINDY-- I mean, really windy. So we get out to the car and I get Hayden out of the wrap and buckled into his car seat. Then I'm loading our bags into the car and I drop the bottled water that I bought. If you have ever breastfed before, you know all about the incredible thirst you get when you're nursing. I mean, I could drink a lake and still be parched. For real! So when my water bottle went rolling under the car, no matter how far it rolled, I was going after it. I needed it that bad! So I load the rest of the bags and lay down on the nasty parking lot and start looking under the car. Thankfully, it stayed under my car and didn't continue through the parking lot to somewhere else. I finally reach the water and am feeling pretty good about myself.... Then I stand up to see that the wind is blowing Leeland away in the cart across the parking lot. So I sprint across the aisle and capture the cart with Leeland and start to get him in the car.....
Then I hear a car start-- there was a lady sitting in her car next to mine, waiting to pull out this entire time. I was totally holding her up with my doors open and with the cart and with the rolling around the ground to retrieve my water. So embarrassing!
Well, now that I got that "make a fool out of yourself as a 1st time mom of 2" experience out of the way, we can all move forward and I continue to learn how to juggle these boys.
Anywho, today we got out of the house for something OTHER than a doctor's appointment. We needed some baby supplies and a few other random items, and I had a coupon to Target for $10 off so that's where we headed. (Not to mention, I really just needed to be out of the house.) Leeland was in the cart and Hayden was wrapped snug in the sleepy wrap I'm borrowing from a friend. Hayden slept the whole time in the wrap and Leeland chatted my ear off about everything he saw in the store and said hello to all who passed us by.
Then we get out to the parking lot. The weather here in NC has been nuts! We got 3 inches of snow this past Sunday and then yesterday and today it has been in the 70's! Weird. But also there is a thunderstorm rolling in supposedly for later this evening, so today it is WINDY-- I mean, really windy. So we get out to the car and I get Hayden out of the wrap and buckled into his car seat. Then I'm loading our bags into the car and I drop the bottled water that I bought. If you have ever breastfed before, you know all about the incredible thirst you get when you're nursing. I mean, I could drink a lake and still be parched. For real! So when my water bottle went rolling under the car, no matter how far it rolled, I was going after it. I needed it that bad! So I load the rest of the bags and lay down on the nasty parking lot and start looking under the car. Thankfully, it stayed under my car and didn't continue through the parking lot to somewhere else. I finally reach the water and am feeling pretty good about myself.... Then I stand up to see that the wind is blowing Leeland away in the cart across the parking lot. So I sprint across the aisle and capture the cart with Leeland and start to get him in the car.....
Then I hear a car start-- there was a lady sitting in her car next to mine, waiting to pull out this entire time. I was totally holding her up with my doors open and with the cart and with the rolling around the ground to retrieve my water. So embarrassing!
Well, now that I got that "make a fool out of yourself as a 1st time mom of 2" experience out of the way, we can all move forward and I continue to learn how to juggle these boys.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Hayden's birth story.
The goal of Hayden's birth was to have a natural (vaginal) non-medicated birth assisted by a midwife. This post is by no means meant to bash doctors, epidurals or inductions because if you have read Leeland's birth story, you know I've been there. But this post is meant to let you know that there are other ways-- natural childbirth is possible, is real, and is WAY more rewarding and fun.
Going into this past week, I was so incredibly excited and anxious about Hayden's upcoming arrival. Those who know me personally know that I am absolutely terrible with surprises so I was driving myself a little mad wondering when he would be here. You also may remember my 37 weeks post where I talked about things coming together for our water birth. I had 2 lovely doulas ready for me to be in labor, the pool and all it entails, and my bags were packed. Just anxiously awaiting the day that I could meet our boy.
On two separate occasions this past week, I had what we'll call "false starts." And I'm not talking Braxton Hicks contractions-- I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a long while now. I'm talking false starts in a sense that I had a few real contractions, mild in pain, and then they would stop. It happened twice and it really irked me. They started and I got myself all worked up and excited and they stopped. I say all this to let you know that this past Sunday when the contractions started once again, I honestly was still upset about them stopping before and shrugged them off as another false start.
I woke up with the contractions at first around 630am. I continued to lay in bed and breath through them thinking in my mind that they would stop and I'd be back to sleep in no time. Daniel woke up soon after that and was getting ready to go to the gym like he does every Sunday morning. I told him that I had been having contractions, he asked how many and I replied 7. He asked me how far apart they were and I told him I had no clue. He started to waver about going to the gym. My prior "false starts" were only about 4 or 5 contractions so to him, 7 was a lot. I told him not to worry about it and go to the gym. I insisted that this may not be real labor and that he was getting on my nerves asking too many questions. (Sorry honey, you can't blame me for things I say when I'm in labor.) After Daniel left for the gym, I was still having contractions and was officially awake-- there was no going back to bed. I decided to hop in the shower to distract myself. I remember standing in the shower and feeling Hayden's little tush sticking out on my right side. I rubbed my side and asked him aloud if today was really going to be the day. It was a sweet little moment, and now I know that it was a moment that was shared between us on the last day he was in the womb.
Once I got out of the shower, I continued to assume the contractions would cease soon and just decided I needed to distract myself and work through them. I folded and put away laundry, I picked up around the house, cleaned the kitchen and even made french toast. Finally at around 930am, it started to hit me that this could be the real thing. I wanted to call my doula, but then I was kind of embarassed-- I knew she would ask me how far apart the contractions were and I literally had no idea because I had been playing mind games with myself all morning. I called Daniel at the gym and told him he might want to come on home and that I needed his help to time the contractions. He got home and was 1st amazed that I was standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast while in labor, and he was a little panicked and wanted to rush out to the hospital. I told him we needed to time the contractions before we started to do anything.... and up until this point, Leeland was still asleep so we needed to think about where he was going.
Daniel started to time the contractions which was very confusing to both of us. I was having 1 hard contraction and then I would have 1 or 2 smaller ones and then another hard-- it was a pretty consistent pattern. We assumed we needed to time them all which would've put them about 2 minutes apart, which made Daniel really want to go to the hospital. I still wasn't convinced or ready and decided I wanted to talk to my doula Jessica first and see if she thought that I was ready. I called her on the phone and told her very vaguely about the contractions-- Daniel and I had no clue what we were doing so I feel like she didn't have a lot of information to go on. She called my other doula Bridget who happened to be close by in the area. So Bridget came by to check things out and see how I was doing. She asked about the timing of my contractions and since I really had no idea we started timing them. This time around we only timed the harder ones and skipped the milder ones in between. The harder ones were consistently 5 minutes apart.
She suggested I contact our midwife/OB office and let them know that my contractions were about 5 minutes apart and lasting about 20-30 seconds. I called and the midwife on duty, Virginia, she said that it was up to how I was feeling about coming in. She said that 5 minutes was really good and since this was my 2nd child, she felt that I would be able to discern when I was ready. They were gaining intensity and I knew that if it were up to Daniel we would've been to the hospital a few hours prior, so I told Bridget, let's give it 20 minutes and head out. She called Jessica who happened to be about 20-30 minutes away so we decided we would meet her there at the hospital.
During all of this my in-laws had dropped by on there way out of state, and some friends of ours came by to watch Leeland. Daniel installed Leeland's car seat into their car, and I packed Leeland a "just in case" overnight bag, and packed the last of my toiletries into my suit case for the hospital. We headed out-- the dreaded car ride. Up to this point, I had taken all of my contractions standing, walking and swaying. Sitting hurt and it was hard to cope sitting. In the 11 minute car ride to the hospital, I had 4 hard contractions-- I had white knuckles from gripping the car door handle and I refused to wear a seat belt. Once we got out of the car, I had to fill out some admissions paper work and due to the car ride, I had sort of lost my rythym working through each contraction. Once I felt like I had caught back up, they whisked me away to be checked for admission. Only 1 person could come back with me at this point so Daniel did. Standard hospital procedure was to check for dilation, contractions, and listen to the baby's heart-- standard procedure to verify labor and then have the doctor or midwife decide whether or not to admit you. All well and good standard procedure, except when it is very clear that a woman is in labor. I was annoyed, I didn't want to sit, I didn't want to lay, I wanted to stand and sway and lean over the bed. The poor nurse that was assigned to me for this part was very very kind and didn't seem bothered by me not being very compliant. She set out to find Hayden's heart beat which took FOREVER, mostly because of the position I was standing in made it hard for her. Then she had to unfortunately have me lay down to check for dilation for a minute-- she was very cooperative with me and waited for when I was ready and she checked so quickly that I'm not entirely sure she got a good estimate and she definitely didn't know how effaced I was. She said I was 5cm and insisted I sit in a wheel chair to be taken to a delivery room. I wanted to walk, but she said the wheel chair would be faster and she had noted my rythym and pattern of dealing with the contractions and mentioned that in the hall there was nothing to lean over to cope. Just before I sat down in the wheel chair I felt a couple gushes of fluid. I honestly thought I might had peed myself-- we now of course know that my water had broken.
She was right about the wheel chair being fast. We barreled down the hallway and collected Jessica and Bridget along the way. We got into the room and everyone immediately started setting up our inflatable birth pool-- that's all that was on my mind as the contractions were getting more intense was how great the water was going to feel. I had a nurse on my left asking me all kinds of preliminary questions about allergies and such and I felt a nurse around my waist trying again to find Hayden's heart beat. I was standing hunched over the bed, and when contractions came, I would lean over the bed and sway a little. They were harder and faster, I was sweating more than I ever had in my entire life. Jessica was wiping my face with a cool cloth and both she and Bridget were blurting out little praises and encouragement. I remember saying at least once, "I can't" and they assured me "Yes I can." Someone got me a birthing ball and offered it to me to sit on. All I could remember was the car ride and how sitting hurt so at first I was resistant, but then I sat down and it actually felt really nice. I was still hunched over the bed at this point.
It felt like literally just a moment later I felt a huge amount of pressure and knew that Hayden was coming. I blurted out, "He's coming!" and though I wasn't looking and had no idea what anyone was doing at this point behind me, there was a panic. Daniel says that a nurse stuck her hand behind me at that point, and said, "Yes, the baby's coming!" and then everyone began to run. I was assisted up onto the bed for fear that the baby was going to fall to the floor. I wasn't trying to push but totally felt my body pushing him out on it's own as I was there on all 4's on the bed. I was told that there was a flood of nurses at this point in the room trying to get the delivery table set up and everything prepared because he was coming so fast. My midwife told me that she nearly took out 2 people running down the hallway. All I heard was a voice say, "reach down and touch your baby" and a few moments later, "he's here, you can hold your baby!" I think I may have only physically put in 2 pushes because my body was doing much of the work. I rolled over onto my back and they placed Hayden on my tummy-- his cord was too short to go any higher.
I was in shock and in awe at what had just happened. We had literally just pulled up at the doors of the hospital an hour ago.... we had only been in the actual delivery room like 20 minutes. The pool only had a couple inches of water in it. It was SO crazy. I was on a high-- Hayden was finally here, and what an incredible story of his labor. I DID IT! I had my baby completely naturally!
What an incredible, incredible experience!!
Hayden was here! He picked his own birthday, there was no induction, no needles, not even a standard IV because there was no time. I surprisingly felt really good. No tearing, and really only just a little swelling which is to be expected.
Hayden latched to the breast right away and breast feeding has been pretty awesome and easy in the few days since which is not something that could've been said of my 1st son.
In a lot of ways, I'm still on a high and an adrenaline rush.
It was simply awesome!
Hayden Daniel Kroh
2-19-12 12:50PM
7 pounds, 9 ounces
19 inches long
And a very special thank you to my village who made this possible!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Birthday Ulta Haul
So I mentioned in a previous post that I spoiled myself at Ulta for my birthday and I have been meaning to write about and review the goods I got. My parents and Daniel's parents had given me a little cash for my birthday and I had been wanting to try some new skincare and make-up products and was looking forward to splurging. The downside is that after I made the purchases, a bit of Mommy guilt started to settle in.... Just thinking about what I could've bought for the boys or for the house with that money. Daniel continued to insist that I keep what I purchased and that it was important for me as a Mom to feel good about myself and to get something for myself sometimes. Why does it have to be so hard?
Anyways, without further ado, the 1st thing that I got was a Philosophy Skin Care Trial kit. It came with face wash, a retinol night cream, and a moisturizer. I have pretty much always struggled with break outs since I was about 12 years old, so I was looking for something to help out with that. Not to mention, pregnancy makes me break out like a mad woman-- far worse than the puberty break outs. I was really excited to try this product because it had RAVE reviews online and I have heard many friends talk about how awesome Philosophy is. I couldn't try the night cream because I am pregnant, but I began using the face wash and moisturizer immediately twice a day. The 1st week went great-- I noticed my skin clearing up, and it felt so soft. The 2nd week, things went down hill. My face started itching like CRAZY all day long. At first I thought that maybe the facial cleanser was drying my skin out and maybe I wasn't moisturizing enough-- the kit was pretty pricey so I was being very frugal with product trying to make it last. So I started doubling the amount of moisturizer I was using. The itching didn't stop. I couldn't take it. I had to return the product. When you spend that kind of money on something, it really needs to make you happy and I just wasn't. Maybe my skin is overly sensitive?
I took the product back and got a face wash and moisturizer that was WAY cheaper and felt a lot better about it. It's from "Formula 10.0.6". I had never heard of the brand but Ulta was doing a buy 1 get 1 free sale on it. I got the "Best Face Forward" face wash and "Seriously Shine Free" moisturizer. They are AWESOME! And they were not even 1/4 of the cost of the Philosophy stuff.
The other purchase I made originally was for some more make-up. I wrote a post a LONG time ago about my love of bare minerals and I still really like bare minerals but I was just in need of a change. I have been swirling, tapping and buffing for a long time and I'm just one of those girls that tends to get a little bored with things after a while. So after reading reviews and watching You Tube videos of people putting on make-up (because I'm nerdy like that and because I don't spend that kind of money without doing a little research first) I decided to go with make-up by Smashbox. They have a trial kit called the complexion perfection kit that comes with a primer, foundation, concealer and powder. It sounded like a great place to start and I really and truly could not be more pleased with it. It has REALLY awesome coverage, and I feel like it makes my skin look pretty close to flawless when it is definitely FAR from it.
All in all, I am extremely pleased with my birthday gifts that I picked out, and definitely feel like my new skincare regimen gives me a little more confidence and a little more pep in my step and there is nothing wrong with that. It's easy to lose yourself when you become a Mom, so it feels really good to take care of myself, and splurge a little on me once in a while... even if that means forcing myself.... and even if that means I have to get over a little guilt in the end.
Anyways, without further ado, the 1st thing that I got was a Philosophy Skin Care Trial kit. It came with face wash, a retinol night cream, and a moisturizer. I have pretty much always struggled with break outs since I was about 12 years old, so I was looking for something to help out with that. Not to mention, pregnancy makes me break out like a mad woman-- far worse than the puberty break outs. I was really excited to try this product because it had RAVE reviews online and I have heard many friends talk about how awesome Philosophy is. I couldn't try the night cream because I am pregnant, but I began using the face wash and moisturizer immediately twice a day. The 1st week went great-- I noticed my skin clearing up, and it felt so soft. The 2nd week, things went down hill. My face started itching like CRAZY all day long. At first I thought that maybe the facial cleanser was drying my skin out and maybe I wasn't moisturizing enough-- the kit was pretty pricey so I was being very frugal with product trying to make it last. So I started doubling the amount of moisturizer I was using. The itching didn't stop. I couldn't take it. I had to return the product. When you spend that kind of money on something, it really needs to make you happy and I just wasn't. Maybe my skin is overly sensitive?
The other purchase I made originally was for some more make-up. I wrote a post a LONG time ago about my love of bare minerals and I still really like bare minerals but I was just in need of a change. I have been swirling, tapping and buffing for a long time and I'm just one of those girls that tends to get a little bored with things after a while. So after reading reviews and watching You Tube videos of people putting on make-up (because I'm nerdy like that and because I don't spend that kind of money without doing a little research first) I decided to go with make-up by Smashbox. They have a trial kit called the complexion perfection kit that comes with a primer, foundation, concealer and powder. It sounded like a great place to start and I really and truly could not be more pleased with it. It has REALLY awesome coverage, and I feel like it makes my skin look pretty close to flawless when it is definitely FAR from it.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Preparing for Hayden
I was beginning to wonder when the infamous "nesting" instinct would kick in. I've felt pretty sloth-like for the past month or so. Kicking back and napping when I can squeeze one in. I mean, absolutely no motivation to do anything. The past 2 days though, I have really been checking things off of my list. I'm not entirely sure that it's nesting, or if it's just trying to be productive to pass the time while Daniel is out of town-- either way, it's exciting to have a little extra energy, to feel accomplished, and to be a productive member of society. So without further ado, here are the things that I have accomplished:
- My car was inspected... and passed.
- Also, my leaky flat tire that I have continued to put air in about twice a week for the past month has now been patched.
- Made a few exchanges at Babies R Us, and picked up the last few things I feel like we need for Hayden.
- Put together our fancy new stroller-- our "sit-n-stand tandem stroller". Exciting!
- Put away all of said baby items that were purchased and items from the baby shower which pretty much meant re-organizing Leeland's room entirely. It took an hour and a half to find the proper homes for each thing, trying to make the room make sense and make the necessary items easily accessible. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment currently so the boys will technically be sharing a room.... or at least their stuff will share a room for now because Hayden will be in the pack and play in our room for a few months.
- Washed all of the laundry in the house, including all of Hayden's new "itty bittys".
- Washed, organized and put away all of Leeland's cloth diapers. (Another area that needed re-organizing was the changing table to make room for Hayden's cloth diapers.)
- Packed the bag for the hospital! You know, THE bag. Like my stuff, Hayden's things, change of clothes for Daniel. All that's left is the last minute toiletries that I'm currently using.
- Wrote out thank-you notes from the baby shower. We were so incredibly blessed and I truly don't feel like a little note or just saying thank you is enough, but hopefully they appreciate it.
- Visited the local Baby Boutique today and got the last of the diapers necessary for Hayden.
- Washed and prepped all of Hayden's diapers. Cloth diapers have to be washed 3-5 times before initial use-- it's cleaning the natural oils out of them, and fluffing them up, somehow making them absorbent.
- Vacuumed out my car.
- Installed Hayden's car seat in the car. Holy wow! That's a wake up call, and quite a visual, seeing TWO car seats in my tiny car!
- Cleaned out the trunk.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Baby Shower
Today Hayden and I were completely blessed and spoiled by our family and friends. It was a baby shower!! I can't think of many things more fun than a baby shower. Who doesn't love all the adorable itty bittys!? We can't say thank you enough to all of our sweet friends and family for not only the amazing gifts but also for all of the love and support. We truly appreciate each and every one of you and are SO incredibly thankful for all that you have given us.
Thank you all for celebrating this special time with us!
Now we just anxiously await the arrival of our little man and can't wait to introduce him to all of you-- we know that he will be surrounded with love and kindness.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Doc Update.
Since I ranted and raved about being sick and upset with my doctor's office yesterday, I thought I should probably post about how today's appointment went. Sure enough, it is believed that I have a sinus infection, so I was written a prescription antibiotic. I'm still a little weary about all of these medications and being pregnant but they have assured me that everything is completely fine to take. Not to mention, on the back of my mind is the fact that labor is coming soon, and I really need to do what I can to try to feel 100%. It really would be no fun to go into labor feeling weak like I do now. So hopefully, I'll be feeling a little more perky soon enough.
In other news, I'm also currently 2 centimeters dilated! So funny to me too. Going into my 36 week appointment last week, I just KNEW that I was going to be dilated or have some sort of crazy progress-- I thought that I had been having a few "real" contractions along with my braxton hicks... When they checked me last week, I was completely closed. Nothing. I'm not gonna lie, I had gotten my hopes all up and I was a little disappointed, but 36 weeks is still early. So going into today's appointment, I thought I had a few contractions the other night, but I have just been so sick that I really have just been in all kinds of achy pain all over, so I wasn't sure. And since I was closed last week and really didn't feel much different this week, I just assumed it'd be another check of nothing. I kind of didn't believe the doctor when she said 2cm.
It's definitely exciting to have made some progress but I'm not holding out hope that they baby is coming this week or anything-- I walked around 1-2cm dilated when I was pregnant with Leeland for about 4 weeks. It's all just numbers. It is comforting to know though that when the time comes, I only have 8 to go instead of 10.
Thank you to all who have covered my health and wellness in prayer! We SO appreciate you! I am going to continue to rest, get better, and prepare for labor.
In other news, I'm also currently 2 centimeters dilated! So funny to me too. Going into my 36 week appointment last week, I just KNEW that I was going to be dilated or have some sort of crazy progress-- I thought that I had been having a few "real" contractions along with my braxton hicks... When they checked me last week, I was completely closed. Nothing. I'm not gonna lie, I had gotten my hopes all up and I was a little disappointed, but 36 weeks is still early. So going into today's appointment, I thought I had a few contractions the other night, but I have just been so sick that I really have just been in all kinds of achy pain all over, so I wasn't sure. And since I was closed last week and really didn't feel much different this week, I just assumed it'd be another check of nothing. I kind of didn't believe the doctor when she said 2cm.
It's definitely exciting to have made some progress but I'm not holding out hope that they baby is coming this week or anything-- I walked around 1-2cm dilated when I was pregnant with Leeland for about 4 weeks. It's all just numbers. It is comforting to know though that when the time comes, I only have 8 to go instead of 10.
Thank you to all who have covered my health and wellness in prayer! We SO appreciate you! I am going to continue to rest, get better, and prepare for labor.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
37 weeks
Today is February 1st which means it's birth month... maybe. Technically they say that the baby could come anytime 2 weeks before the due date or 2 weeks after and 2 weeks after would put us into March so we shall see. But for now, I'm thinking that this is birth month for our little Hayden.
We are currently 37 weeks pregnant and I have some bad news/frustrations that I need to vent and I have some really awesome news. Maybe I'll start with my rant so that we end on a good note and I end in a better mood. Hopefully I don't bore you.
So this past week I have been pretty darn sick. Leeland got sick 1st, he woke up Friday morning with just a snot nose and no other symptoms. Honestly since it has been such a mild Winter and we've had very Spring-like weather here lately in NC, I thought that maybe it could've just been some allergies. That is until I woke up Sunday morning with a snot nose and sore throat-- darn those irresistible toddler kisses that Leeland and I frequently exchange! On Monday I called my OB office to tell them of my symptoms and ask them if they could bump my appointment up from Thursday so that I could be looked at- I was feeling pretty miserable. Sore throat, runny nose, congestion, and a fever off and on. The nurse told me that I should try to take some specific medicines and if that didn't clear things up in a day or so then to call back. After I started taking the decongestants, I started to feel a little less pressure in my head on Tuesday and felt like things were draining and I was doing better. Then last night I was up literally every 30 minutes blowing my nose with no end in sight, coughing my head off to the point that I couldn't breath and having serious night sweats. I was miserable-- we went to bed around 11pm, I continued to wake up and wake up and finally at 4am, I was in pain, couldn't breath and was wide awake.
So after that rough night last night, I called the doctor's office as soon as they opened this morning to see if they could see me today rather than tomorrow-- in my head I'm thinking that the medicines they suggested aren't working and what if I'm dealing with something more serious like strep throat or a sinus infection.... and I have been super concerned about Hayden. I haven't really been comfortable with the meds they told me to take and he hasn't been moving around as much, partly because I'm sure he's running out of room, but I bet it also has something to do with me being sick. I called them at 930am and they said a nurse would call back..... 2 hours later I called again and was told that they were probably backed up and that they had to return "emergency calls" 1st and would call back. At 1pm, when I put Leeland down for a nap, I laid down too. I woke up at 330pm to find that I still hadn't received a phone call. I'm sure there were some labors or some emergencies that they had to tend to before getting to me, but 6 hours?! I called again, and once again the receptionist tried to shrug me off.... I started to cry... cry bad... I was beyond frustrated, I'm miserable, I can't breath, I barely have a voice, which makes it very difficult to keep a toddler in line.... I can't stand that my situation did not matter to them-- they continued to assume, "oh she just has a cold", rather than listening to my legitimate concerns, fears and pains. I don't know that it's just a cold, I don't know that the sweet little boy I'm carrying is ok, I'm calling because I feel like I need to, don't disregard me! With all of that said, it was too late for me to come in today and they suggested I bump my appointment up for tomorrow-- I was supposed to go in at 130pm, and instead will be in at 1015am.... and I do plan on letting them know that I don't appreciate the level of care I'm receiving. No person deserves to be treated so poorly, not listened to, and skipped over. If someone is calling a doctor's office, they are calling for a reason! I don't call the doctor's office just to have a friendly chat, I call when there is a legitimate concern or need!
Ugh!!
Now to the good news! Things are REALLY coming together for the birth of Hayden! I am SO excited to tell you that the dream birth that I never thought I would have is coming into fruition. Going into this pregnancy I had heard from a friend of mine that our local Women's Hospital is now allowing waterbirths-- you just have to bring your own birthing pool. After watching several documentaries and hearing the birth stories of friends, I knew this was something that I was interested in-- which is why I switched OB offices to work with the midwives where I am currently going. Daniel and I were required to attend a waterbirthing class before delivery if we were going to do it-- we went to the class back in December. After leaving the class, we were very discouraged, and pretty much immediately ruled out my dream of the waterbirth. The birthing pools are super expensive, even to rent them. And it's not an expense that we can afford before the baby is born. Also they said that it would be best to have a pool attendant to help keep the temperature right in the water and to help break down the pool after delivery. At our local Women's Hospital, you deliver in one set of rooms/section of the hospital and then within an hour or so, they move you to the "mother/baby unit" for recovery and rooming in with your child the rest of your stay. They said it was important to break down the tub within an hour of delivery. Going into the class, I hadn't thought about an attendant and assumed it would just be Daniel and I in the delivery room, but I don't want him to miss out on bonding with Hayden because he's breaking down the tub.
I felt a little embarrassed that I had raved about this waterbirth idea to friends and family for a while and now suddenly it wasn't going to be possible. I kept silent about it. Who wants to admit that they can't afford to have a natural childbirth? Then about a month ago, some friends had been posting blogs and labor stories and all sorts of encouragement related to waterbirths on my Facebook wall-- I finally broke down and replied that it wasn't going to happen for us and explained the reasons you see in the above paragraph. The next day, I got a call from my friend saying, "Do you want to have a waterbirth?"..... Well of course.... but I can't.... to which she told me that she had already worked out all the details. She had a pool from another friend that I could use, it just needed a liner (which later was donated by someone else, in exchange for donor breast milk.... awesome sequence of events), and I would need a hose to fill it up which she offered to buy for me as my baby shower gift. She also had already contacted a Doula friend of hers who was willing to work with me for free. Throughout this phone call I was nearly in tears at the grocery store. I couldn't believe that not only she had gone out of her way to make all this possible, but also that things were falling into place, and that others were so giving. I truly feel blessed to have these wonderful ladies in my life!
So we're now potentially 3 weeks out from having a baby and I am getting super excited about the birth of our second baby boy. I hope to have an awesome birth story to share with you all once it's all said and done.
Now I must go back to my resting, and trying to kick this virus. I've already went through one roll of toilet paper on my nose.... Please keep me in your prayers that this virus leaves my body before I go into labor... because... well... I'd like to be able to breath while I'm in labor. :D
We are currently 37 weeks pregnant and I have some bad news/frustrations that I need to vent and I have some really awesome news. Maybe I'll start with my rant so that we end on a good note and I end in a better mood. Hopefully I don't bore you.
So this past week I have been pretty darn sick. Leeland got sick 1st, he woke up Friday morning with just a snot nose and no other symptoms. Honestly since it has been such a mild Winter and we've had very Spring-like weather here lately in NC, I thought that maybe it could've just been some allergies. That is until I woke up Sunday morning with a snot nose and sore throat-- darn those irresistible toddler kisses that Leeland and I frequently exchange! On Monday I called my OB office to tell them of my symptoms and ask them if they could bump my appointment up from Thursday so that I could be looked at- I was feeling pretty miserable. Sore throat, runny nose, congestion, and a fever off and on. The nurse told me that I should try to take some specific medicines and if that didn't clear things up in a day or so then to call back. After I started taking the decongestants, I started to feel a little less pressure in my head on Tuesday and felt like things were draining and I was doing better. Then last night I was up literally every 30 minutes blowing my nose with no end in sight, coughing my head off to the point that I couldn't breath and having serious night sweats. I was miserable-- we went to bed around 11pm, I continued to wake up and wake up and finally at 4am, I was in pain, couldn't breath and was wide awake.
So after that rough night last night, I called the doctor's office as soon as they opened this morning to see if they could see me today rather than tomorrow-- in my head I'm thinking that the medicines they suggested aren't working and what if I'm dealing with something more serious like strep throat or a sinus infection.... and I have been super concerned about Hayden. I haven't really been comfortable with the meds they told me to take and he hasn't been moving around as much, partly because I'm sure he's running out of room, but I bet it also has something to do with me being sick. I called them at 930am and they said a nurse would call back..... 2 hours later I called again and was told that they were probably backed up and that they had to return "emergency calls" 1st and would call back. At 1pm, when I put Leeland down for a nap, I laid down too. I woke up at 330pm to find that I still hadn't received a phone call. I'm sure there were some labors or some emergencies that they had to tend to before getting to me, but 6 hours?! I called again, and once again the receptionist tried to shrug me off.... I started to cry... cry bad... I was beyond frustrated, I'm miserable, I can't breath, I barely have a voice, which makes it very difficult to keep a toddler in line.... I can't stand that my situation did not matter to them-- they continued to assume, "oh she just has a cold", rather than listening to my legitimate concerns, fears and pains. I don't know that it's just a cold, I don't know that the sweet little boy I'm carrying is ok, I'm calling because I feel like I need to, don't disregard me! With all of that said, it was too late for me to come in today and they suggested I bump my appointment up for tomorrow-- I was supposed to go in at 130pm, and instead will be in at 1015am.... and I do plan on letting them know that I don't appreciate the level of care I'm receiving. No person deserves to be treated so poorly, not listened to, and skipped over. If someone is calling a doctor's office, they are calling for a reason! I don't call the doctor's office just to have a friendly chat, I call when there is a legitimate concern or need!
Ugh!!
Now to the good news! Things are REALLY coming together for the birth of Hayden! I am SO excited to tell you that the dream birth that I never thought I would have is coming into fruition. Going into this pregnancy I had heard from a friend of mine that our local Women's Hospital is now allowing waterbirths-- you just have to bring your own birthing pool. After watching several documentaries and hearing the birth stories of friends, I knew this was something that I was interested in-- which is why I switched OB offices to work with the midwives where I am currently going. Daniel and I were required to attend a waterbirthing class before delivery if we were going to do it-- we went to the class back in December. After leaving the class, we were very discouraged, and pretty much immediately ruled out my dream of the waterbirth. The birthing pools are super expensive, even to rent them. And it's not an expense that we can afford before the baby is born. Also they said that it would be best to have a pool attendant to help keep the temperature right in the water and to help break down the pool after delivery. At our local Women's Hospital, you deliver in one set of rooms/section of the hospital and then within an hour or so, they move you to the "mother/baby unit" for recovery and rooming in with your child the rest of your stay. They said it was important to break down the tub within an hour of delivery. Going into the class, I hadn't thought about an attendant and assumed it would just be Daniel and I in the delivery room, but I don't want him to miss out on bonding with Hayden because he's breaking down the tub.
I felt a little embarrassed that I had raved about this waterbirth idea to friends and family for a while and now suddenly it wasn't going to be possible. I kept silent about it. Who wants to admit that they can't afford to have a natural childbirth? Then about a month ago, some friends had been posting blogs and labor stories and all sorts of encouragement related to waterbirths on my Facebook wall-- I finally broke down and replied that it wasn't going to happen for us and explained the reasons you see in the above paragraph. The next day, I got a call from my friend saying, "Do you want to have a waterbirth?"..... Well of course.... but I can't.... to which she told me that she had already worked out all the details. She had a pool from another friend that I could use, it just needed a liner (which later was donated by someone else, in exchange for donor breast milk.... awesome sequence of events), and I would need a hose to fill it up which she offered to buy for me as my baby shower gift. She also had already contacted a Doula friend of hers who was willing to work with me for free. Throughout this phone call I was nearly in tears at the grocery store. I couldn't believe that not only she had gone out of her way to make all this possible, but also that things were falling into place, and that others were so giving. I truly feel blessed to have these wonderful ladies in my life!
So we're now potentially 3 weeks out from having a baby and I am getting super excited about the birth of our second baby boy. I hope to have an awesome birth story to share with you all once it's all said and done.
Now I must go back to my resting, and trying to kick this virus. I've already went through one roll of toilet paper on my nose.... Please keep me in your prayers that this virus leaves my body before I go into labor... because... well... I'd like to be able to breath while I'm in labor. :D
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Leeland's Birth Story.
As the weeks continue to pass and we patiently wait for the time of Hayden's arrival into the world, I find myself reflecting on our sweet, handsome 1st born Leeland. He will be 2 in April and I cannot believe how much he has grown over the past few months. I am baffled each day by what he is doing and learning and saying. Today I found myself clearing out my iPhone of photos, because it said that my memory was getting full and the other day refused to take a cute picture when I wanted it to-- many of the photos I found when I was going through the memories were of Leeland as a baby. He was a baby at one point in time. And as I looked at those tiny little baby photos, wondering where the past 2 years went, I found myself thinking about his birth and what we have to look forward to with the birth of Hayden. And then it dawned on me that I have never written out Leeland's birth story, so here it goes.
Leeland's due date according to our doctor and the ultrasounds was April 11, 2010. Honestly I was always weary of the date and never quite sure if it was right because my cycle had been so irregular. They picked the date based off of his size in the first two ultrasounds that we had. It was always very confusing to me though because at nearly every appointment in my last trimester, I was told that I was measuring too big. In all actuality, the date is just a guess and technically he could come at anytime, but it was my first pregnancy and I was VERY attached to the date.
I should also mention that I was very miserable the last few weeks, and I was SO SO SO anxious to meet my little boy. In the last four weeks leading up to the due date, I was checked at each appointment to see if I was dilated or if there was softening of the cervix. This is where things got to be VERY frustrating and VERY confusing. When you go to a large OB practice, they rotate you through the various doctors because they want you to know each one, not knowing who will be on call for the delivery. Each week I saw someone different, and each week I was told that I was progressing. I went from 1cm, to 2cm, to even 3cm at one visit. When they told me I was 3cm was when I had called in the last week and told them that I was feeling some unusual pain and had an increase in fluids and thought maybe I was leaking amniotic fluid. They had me come in, checked me out and tested the fluid. They said it was nothing and had me return home, but they must've felt sorry for me, or understood how ready I was to have the baby because they went ahead and set my induction for the following week. The day before my due date, I went to the hospital and tried to be admitted-- I was having a few contractions here and there (nothing regular) and in my head, if I was at 3cm, then maybe, just maybe, they would decide to keep me. I got in, undressed, was strapped to the monitors, and was checked..... I was then told I was only 1cm. I tried to argue with the nurse at first explaining that just days before my OB told me I was a 3. She played the "don't worry, he'll come when he's ready card." I didn't like that, I was disappointed, I felt lame for embarrassing myself and coming in, I felt silly for getting my hopes up that they would keep me, I was ready to be done, I was uncomfortable, I wanted to meet my baby.... and I cried.... and I went home.
The next day was April 11th, a Sunday, we went to church. We had been visiting some different churches at the time, trying to find our church home. I remember being approached by several people in the congregation just introducing themselves and asking us how we heard about the church, what brought us there, etc. I was pretty large at the time, so it would always come up, "when are you due" in which I would follow with, "today." They always seemed so shocked, like I shouldn't be out of the house. It was humorous, but what else did I have to do to pass the time?
As the few days before the induction came passed, I tried everything in my power to kick start labor. I went on walks with our dog Lilly. In fact, the Friday before his birth, I had walked 3 miles one afternoon at our local park. By myself, which probably wasn't too smart being so far along but in the end it did no good so it didn't matter. I ate everything that the internet suggested, spicy food, eggplant, balsamic vinegar. Nothing changed, and I didn't feel any different. It was time to come to terms with the fact that I was being induced, and that I just needed to look forward to meeting our little guy in a few days.
The induction day came, we were to be admitted to the local Women's Hospital the evening of April 13th. I think I was expecting to have him within a few hours that night, but that's not how it works. We packed our bags, got checked into the hospital and settled into our labor and delivery room. That night I was given Cervadil and was told that it would "kick start" labor, and also a sleeping pill to help me get some rest. Not sure what I was expecting, but I didn't feel anything through the night. The next morning the only change was that my cervix had softened some more-- apparently that's all that was supposed to happen with the Cervadil. Around 8am I was hooked up to an IV of Pitocin and then sometime between 830 and 900, my doctor came in and broke my water with a large hook. Immediately it was noted that my water was not clear, there was a large amount of meconium which essentially means that Leeland had pooped in the womb. We had went over the dangers of meconium in our birthing class and I was a little worried by it, but my doctor and the nurse assured me that when it came time for delivery, Leeland would be suctioned and cleaned very thoroughly to ensure that he didn't inhale any of the meconium.
As the day went on my family and Daniel's family were in and out of our room visiting and checking in. My original goal was a "natural" childbirth. In my head, I was still counting this as a natural childbirth because up to this point I hadn't had any pain medication. In all actuality looking back, my natural childbirth was thrown out the window as soon as I accepted being induced. About 4 hours after my water broke, I began to get sick, as in throwing up. We had been told in our birthing classes that this was fairly common, and I assumed I would be one of those lucky ones because I had been sick so much during the pregnancy. Let me just say, that I can handle a lot of things. I would consider myself at least somewhat tough, but when I get sick it is SO over. I remember my morning sickness days early in pregnancy-- I'm talking about when I would curl up in the fetal position in the bathroom floor and cry for Daniel. I'm a total sissy when it comes to sickness! With all of that said, just because I was getting sick, didn't stop the contractions. I had been able to stay on top of them and cope somewhat but suddenly, I found myself sitting up in the bed, hurling into a trash can and throwing in the towel. I remember saying the words, "I NEED and epidural." Within 20 minutes the anesthesiologist was in to take care of it for me. The rest of my labor, I layed in bed on Facebook on my iPhone and watching TV. The nurse came in every hour or so to check in on me and check my progress. Just after 530pm it was time to push.
Pushing was a breeze. I mean, I couldn't feel anything. They had to tell me when to push because I had no idea when I was having a contraction. The nurse was astonished by how well I was doing-- within 20 minutes, Leeland was almost out. She had to halt me for us to wait on the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, I gave a few more steady pushes and out came Leeland around 610pm.
I'm not so happy that my original "natural childbirth" goal was thrown out the window and I'm really the only one to blame for it. Sure I could point fingers at the doctors and their need to intervene and schedule things, but I was the one that didn't stand my ground. I let a date get in the way, I was so focused on that date, and so focused on just getting it done. As I look back, though I'm a little disappointed in myself, I know that it all worked out in the end. In the end, I had a happy, healthy, handsome, 8 pound 6 ounce little boy in my arms.
Leeland's due date according to our doctor and the ultrasounds was April 11, 2010. Honestly I was always weary of the date and never quite sure if it was right because my cycle had been so irregular. They picked the date based off of his size in the first two ultrasounds that we had. It was always very confusing to me though because at nearly every appointment in my last trimester, I was told that I was measuring too big. In all actuality, the date is just a guess and technically he could come at anytime, but it was my first pregnancy and I was VERY attached to the date.
I should also mention that I was very miserable the last few weeks, and I was SO SO SO anxious to meet my little boy. In the last four weeks leading up to the due date, I was checked at each appointment to see if I was dilated or if there was softening of the cervix. This is where things got to be VERY frustrating and VERY confusing. When you go to a large OB practice, they rotate you through the various doctors because they want you to know each one, not knowing who will be on call for the delivery. Each week I saw someone different, and each week I was told that I was progressing. I went from 1cm, to 2cm, to even 3cm at one visit. When they told me I was 3cm was when I had called in the last week and told them that I was feeling some unusual pain and had an increase in fluids and thought maybe I was leaking amniotic fluid. They had me come in, checked me out and tested the fluid. They said it was nothing and had me return home, but they must've felt sorry for me, or understood how ready I was to have the baby because they went ahead and set my induction for the following week. The day before my due date, I went to the hospital and tried to be admitted-- I was having a few contractions here and there (nothing regular) and in my head, if I was at 3cm, then maybe, just maybe, they would decide to keep me. I got in, undressed, was strapped to the monitors, and was checked..... I was then told I was only 1cm. I tried to argue with the nurse at first explaining that just days before my OB told me I was a 3. She played the "don't worry, he'll come when he's ready card." I didn't like that, I was disappointed, I felt lame for embarrassing myself and coming in, I felt silly for getting my hopes up that they would keep me, I was ready to be done, I was uncomfortable, I wanted to meet my baby.... and I cried.... and I went home.
The next day was April 11th, a Sunday, we went to church. We had been visiting some different churches at the time, trying to find our church home. I remember being approached by several people in the congregation just introducing themselves and asking us how we heard about the church, what brought us there, etc. I was pretty large at the time, so it would always come up, "when are you due" in which I would follow with, "today." They always seemed so shocked, like I shouldn't be out of the house. It was humorous, but what else did I have to do to pass the time?
As the few days before the induction came passed, I tried everything in my power to kick start labor. I went on walks with our dog Lilly. In fact, the Friday before his birth, I had walked 3 miles one afternoon at our local park. By myself, which probably wasn't too smart being so far along but in the end it did no good so it didn't matter. I ate everything that the internet suggested, spicy food, eggplant, balsamic vinegar. Nothing changed, and I didn't feel any different. It was time to come to terms with the fact that I was being induced, and that I just needed to look forward to meeting our little guy in a few days.
The induction day came, we were to be admitted to the local Women's Hospital the evening of April 13th. I think I was expecting to have him within a few hours that night, but that's not how it works. We packed our bags, got checked into the hospital and settled into our labor and delivery room. That night I was given Cervadil and was told that it would "kick start" labor, and also a sleeping pill to help me get some rest. Not sure what I was expecting, but I didn't feel anything through the night. The next morning the only change was that my cervix had softened some more-- apparently that's all that was supposed to happen with the Cervadil. Around 8am I was hooked up to an IV of Pitocin and then sometime between 830 and 900, my doctor came in and broke my water with a large hook. Immediately it was noted that my water was not clear, there was a large amount of meconium which essentially means that Leeland had pooped in the womb. We had went over the dangers of meconium in our birthing class and I was a little worried by it, but my doctor and the nurse assured me that when it came time for delivery, Leeland would be suctioned and cleaned very thoroughly to ensure that he didn't inhale any of the meconium.
As the day went on my family and Daniel's family were in and out of our room visiting and checking in. My original goal was a "natural" childbirth. In my head, I was still counting this as a natural childbirth because up to this point I hadn't had any pain medication. In all actuality looking back, my natural childbirth was thrown out the window as soon as I accepted being induced. About 4 hours after my water broke, I began to get sick, as in throwing up. We had been told in our birthing classes that this was fairly common, and I assumed I would be one of those lucky ones because I had been sick so much during the pregnancy. Let me just say, that I can handle a lot of things. I would consider myself at least somewhat tough, but when I get sick it is SO over. I remember my morning sickness days early in pregnancy-- I'm talking about when I would curl up in the fetal position in the bathroom floor and cry for Daniel. I'm a total sissy when it comes to sickness! With all of that said, just because I was getting sick, didn't stop the contractions. I had been able to stay on top of them and cope somewhat but suddenly, I found myself sitting up in the bed, hurling into a trash can and throwing in the towel. I remember saying the words, "I NEED and epidural." Within 20 minutes the anesthesiologist was in to take care of it for me. The rest of my labor, I layed in bed on Facebook on my iPhone and watching TV. The nurse came in every hour or so to check in on me and check my progress. Just after 530pm it was time to push.
Pushing was a breeze. I mean, I couldn't feel anything. They had to tell me when to push because I had no idea when I was having a contraction. The nurse was astonished by how well I was doing-- within 20 minutes, Leeland was almost out. She had to halt me for us to wait on the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, I gave a few more steady pushes and out came Leeland around 610pm.
I'm not so happy that my original "natural childbirth" goal was thrown out the window and I'm really the only one to blame for it. Sure I could point fingers at the doctors and their need to intervene and schedule things, but I was the one that didn't stand my ground. I let a date get in the way, I was so focused on that date, and so focused on just getting it done. As I look back, though I'm a little disappointed in myself, I know that it all worked out in the end. In the end, I had a happy, healthy, handsome, 8 pound 6 ounce little boy in my arms.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Birthday Festivities.
As far as birthdays go, my birthday is always pretty low key. I think having a Holiday birthday kind of makes it that way-- not to mention one that falls amongst the chaos of other Holidays. Yesterday we attended church, and then came home for lunch. I was exhausted from New Year's Eve so I took a nap when Leeland took his regular afternoon nap. Oh, I forgot to mention, I stayed up till 2am New Year's Eve! I have to say that I'm pretty proud of that. Last year I didn't make it to midnight-- I think Saturday was the latest I've stayed up since Leeland was a newborn.... and staying up when he was a baby wasn't by choice. So needless to say, this pregnant Momma enjoyed a birthday nap! Once we got up from our nap, it was time to head to my parent's house. My sister's birthday is December 28th and so we always get together as a family on New Year's and celebrate both. We have the traditional southern New Year's dinner of turnip greens, pintos, some sort of pork, and cornbread. It is absolutely delicious! Each item has a meaning but I forget what's what-- health, wealth and luck for the New Year. We also had a yummy ice cream cake! (pictured at the top).
Nothing beats relaxation and food as a way to celebrate your birthday-- especially when you're pregnant.
The festivities didn't end there-- Daniel and I also enjoyed a nice date night tonight. Tonight's date was kind of a combination of celebrating Christmas, my birthday, and our anniversary. And to be quite honest, it had been far too long since we have went on a date so really any reason is fine by me. We started the evening dropping Leeland off with Daniel's parents and then we headed out to Ulta for me to splurge a little with my birthday money. You know it's love when your man is willing to wonder around the beauty store with you. I purchased a skincare set by Philosophy and some new make-up by Smashbox, both I hope to write a bit about once I have used them at least a week. After that we debated about where to go eat and settled on Kabuto, a Japanese restaurant where they cook on a grill at the table. It definitely hit the spot!
Happy 25th birthday to me and Happy New Year to all of you guys! Hope you enjoyed your Holiday weekend as much as I enjoyed mine.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
31 weeks
I had Daniel take a few photos of Leeland and I before the Christmas Eve church service this weekend. I wanted to get a decent belly shot so that Hayden knows that he was here at Christmas loved and thought about.
We had a midwife appointment this morning which was extra exciting because it was the 1st appointment that Daniel had been able to attend with me because of his work schedule. I'm measuring right on point and Hayden's heart beat makes a beautiful sound. There are some concerns about my thyroid levels being low so I had additional blood drawn today, but I'm not worried. Other than some back pain, which is probably brought on not only by the pregnancy but also by chasing and lifting a toddler, I am feeling pretty great! Only 9 weeks left to go and my is time just flying by!
Christmas Festivities:
We were unable to go to Michigan this year for Christmas (much of Daniel's family lives there) because Daniel didn't get enough time off work. He only got Saturday through Tuesday and since we typically drive, 2 days are spent traveling there and back. (About 13 hours in the car one way.) It was nice to celebrate and enjoy my family's typical traditions that they do here, but I really did miss getting away. Looking at the calendar prior to Christmas weekend, I was feeling a little overwhelmed and like we had overextended ourselves. It's so easy to get caught up in all the festivities, and subsequently not truly be able to worship and celebrate. Here's what our weekend looked like.....
Praise God that my Brother-In-Law is home safely from Iraq! We were so excited to have him back on this side of the pond, AND home to celebrate Christmas! Friday night was spent at my in-laws celebrating his return. While he was in Iraq, he missed his birthday and Thanksgiving so we had a Thanksgiving dinner re-do with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato pie... And I baked him a birthday cake. Of course we also had to celebrate Christmas in there, so Leeland and his little cousin got to open all of their Christmas presents. My in-laws left the next morning for Michigan which is why the babies got to open their gifts a bit early.
After we opened up our gifts and our stockings, it was time to head to my parents house. Their tradition is a big Christmas morning breakfast-- bacon, sausage, biscuits, gravy, pancakes, eggs.... MMMM, I'm starting to drool just thinking about it. And of course there was more presents.
Once we were done there, we were free to celebrate as a family. We came home and took naps with new PJ's on and then got up and had some dinner. And cake. Our new tradition this year is a "Happy birthday Jesus" cake-- an excellent way to teach the boys a bit more about the meaning of Christmas.
And that my friends is our Christmas in a nut shell with some photos. The past 2 days since Christmas have been all about family time (taking advantage of Daniel's time off work), cleaning, organizing and trying to figure out what to do with all these presents! Our little man really racked up and got far more than he could ever need or want.... kind of makes me nervous about next year with 2. Hope you and your families had a great Christmas!
Friday December 23rd
Saturday, December 24th
Christmas Eve morning we had another couple over that is friends of ours for breakfast. They of course brought Leeland a gift-- cute little track suit pictured below. And they even got Daniel and I a little something which was unexpected and super sweet of them. I made breakfast, I made this breakfast casserole and this french toast recipe. Both of them SUPER easy, I prepped both ahead Friday night and baked them in the oven that morning.
Saturday evening we went to church. The Christmas Eve service was PACKED! It was such a sweet service though, with what seemed like lots of extra singing which was totally fine by me-- the band at church is always wonderful and singing Christmas carols with a packed house is just magical. After the service, we went to my Granny's house for some yummy food and for Leeland to yet again open some more Christmas presents.
After my Granny's house we were headed home to play Santa, or just simply put the gifts that had been wrapped and hidden in our room for several weeks now under the tree.
Sunday, December 25th-- CHRISTMAS!
Christmas morning we woke up and got Leeland up to open gifts. We had a minor issue with my fancy camera and all of our Christmas morning photos had to be taken on my iPhone. I was quite bummed! We left the camera out in the car on accident the night before-- when Daniel walked the dog, he brought it in. It was pretty chilly out that morning and when he brought it in the lens got all fogged up. I wiped and wiped and it kept fogging, it took about an hour to "defrost" and of course Leeland was not waiting to open his presents.
Once we were done there, we were free to celebrate as a family. We came home and took naps with new PJ's on and then got up and had some dinner. And cake. Our new tradition this year is a "Happy birthday Jesus" cake-- an excellent way to teach the boys a bit more about the meaning of Christmas.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Teeth.
My worst fear came true this week-- that's an exaggeration, it's not really my "worst" fear, but it is one that I have talked about and hoped and wished not to happen. What is it? Something happening to Leeland's teeth.
I remember running into another Mom a couple months ago at a football game, and Leeland was about the same age as her youngest son and they ran around and played so we were chatting. She asked if I had other children and I told her we were expecting (at the time not knowing it was a boy yet) and she told me that she had 3 sons. She followed that with, "if you end up having more boys, there's a support group for Mom's like us." I giggled and said something about how from all the stories I have heard about my husband and his brothers that we needed to make sure we have good medical insurance. And she said, "no, you need good dental insurance," and followed with a story about a freak accident with her youngest son and his tooth having to be pulled. Mind you, he was only about 16 months old at the time.
That has been my fear. In all actuality, we of course get 2 sets of teeth in our lifetime so it's technically not that big of a deal, but knowing that Leeland may have a jacked up tooth for at least 7 years before his permanent teeth come in is really scary to me.
So anyways, Leeland chipped one of his front teeth this week. Thankfully it's a small chip so there wasn't any sort of root or extreme damage causing us to rush off to the dentist office, but it's a chip in his tooth none the less. Daniel says that it is small enough that no one would notice if I didn't point it out, but I know it's there! The way it's placed in the corner of his front tooth makes his tooth just look, not straight across at the bottom (if that makes sense).
He bonked his mouth on the side of the bath tub the other night. He cried and I consoled him and remember checking his lips and glancing at his mouth to make sure he wasn't bleeding. (He has been known to get a bloody lip in falls from now and then). I don't recall looking at any of his teeth (dumb me) and he stopped crying after about a minute so I assumed he wasn't hurt too bad. The next morning, we were sitting on the couch enjoying our cheerios together-- and Leeland likes to take very large fist fulls of cheerios and put them in his mouth. When he did, I noticed his tooth didn't look right and thought for whatever reason there was cheerios stuck in his tooth. But it wasn't cheerios-- it was the chipped tooth. I beat myself up about it most of the day because it took me to the next day to notice and I felt horrible about being a "bad mom." And then I just got sad for him that his teeth are perfect anymore. :(
I remember running into another Mom a couple months ago at a football game, and Leeland was about the same age as her youngest son and they ran around and played so we were chatting. She asked if I had other children and I told her we were expecting (at the time not knowing it was a boy yet) and she told me that she had 3 sons. She followed that with, "if you end up having more boys, there's a support group for Mom's like us." I giggled and said something about how from all the stories I have heard about my husband and his brothers that we needed to make sure we have good medical insurance. And she said, "no, you need good dental insurance," and followed with a story about a freak accident with her youngest son and his tooth having to be pulled. Mind you, he was only about 16 months old at the time.
That has been my fear. In all actuality, we of course get 2 sets of teeth in our lifetime so it's technically not that big of a deal, but knowing that Leeland may have a jacked up tooth for at least 7 years before his permanent teeth come in is really scary to me.
So anyways, Leeland chipped one of his front teeth this week. Thankfully it's a small chip so there wasn't any sort of root or extreme damage causing us to rush off to the dentist office, but it's a chip in his tooth none the less. Daniel says that it is small enough that no one would notice if I didn't point it out, but I know it's there! The way it's placed in the corner of his front tooth makes his tooth just look, not straight across at the bottom (if that makes sense).
He bonked his mouth on the side of the bath tub the other night. He cried and I consoled him and remember checking his lips and glancing at his mouth to make sure he wasn't bleeding. (He has been known to get a bloody lip in falls from now and then). I don't recall looking at any of his teeth (dumb me) and he stopped crying after about a minute so I assumed he wasn't hurt too bad. The next morning, we were sitting on the couch enjoying our cheerios together-- and Leeland likes to take very large fist fulls of cheerios and put them in his mouth. When he did, I noticed his tooth didn't look right and thought for whatever reason there was cheerios stuck in his tooth. But it wasn't cheerios-- it was the chipped tooth. I beat myself up about it most of the day because it took me to the next day to notice and I felt horrible about being a "bad mom." And then I just got sad for him that his teeth are perfect anymore. :(
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Celebrating Advent
Thankfully she also shared that Ann Voskamp has free Jesse Tree printables on her blog. If you haven't heard of Ann Voskamp, she is a fabulous author and her most recent book "One Thousand Gifts" climbed to the top of the charts. You can find her blog/website here. Once you subscribe to the blog, you can get access to the free printables for the Jesse Tree. The printables include picture cut outs that you can use as ornaments and also devotions and scripture to go with each day. I cut out the ornaments and attached them to some scrapbook paper and added a ribbon to hang them on the tree. Most people use a separate small tree for their Jesse Tree but due to it being last minute and not entirely in the budget, we're just adding the ornaments to our regular Christmas tree. It really works out for us too considering I limited the ornaments on our tree this year since the ones we have are glass and I didn't want them in tiny hands.
A special thank you to Jen for sharing about the Jesse Tree and also to Ann Voskamp for the awesome devotions and printables!
Lastly for this season, just for Daniel and I-- our yearly tradition is a candy advent calendar. This calendar I got at Starbucks a few years ago and I buy candy to refill the drawers each year.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
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