I won something!

Before I get to the title of this post, I want to share with you that it is GOOD FRIDAY! It is only through the blood of Jesus and the grace of God that we may be born again, made into a new person, and have eternal life. One of my favorite verses says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17. What a beautiful promise that is-- the hard part to swallow though is that we only got there through this, "For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him." Romans 5:6-9. Sometimes it's difficult for our human emotions to understand but Jesus boar all of our sins.... all of them.... for every murderer, every adulterer, every lustful thought, even every candy bar stolen as a kid. As I have reflected this week on the true meaning of Easter, I feel so humbled and thankful for the blood of Christ. I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words right now.... I just know that I am humbled and love my God for all He has done.

And on to the title of this post, I won a giveaway from one of the blogs that I read! YAY! I won something from Danielle at Take Heart. Here is the link to the sponsor giveaway that I entered, I won giveaway #2 from the marine parents-- a knotted necklace and a rose headband! And here is the link where you can see my name.... I was picked! Yippee!!! You guys should totally check out her blog, she is such a sweet sweet girl with a cute little family. She is doing another giveaway for this next week in honor of her 25th birthday. She is giving away a HUGE lot of stuff that I REALLY REALLY want :0) and in order to enter you have to buy a few children's books off of Amazon for the joyful library at Riley Hospital for children in Indiana! How sweet is that celebrating her birthday and giving to others! Here's the link to that giveaway give to joyful library.

Farmer's Market Finds

Leeland and I met one of my friend's at the Farmer's Market yesterday morning. I was supposed to meet her there at 8am. I had the alarm set for 6am, and I had every intention of getting up early before Leeland woke up (he usually wakes around 730 or 8), getting my shower and spending some good quiet time just me, my Bible and a cup of coffee. That is what I intended, but instead I woke up to the sound of a text message on my phone from my friend at 8am that said "I'm here". I jumped out of bed, threw on shoes, grabbed a Starbucks doubleshot from the fridge, changed Leeland, made a bottle and ran out the door. I was so frazzled and so disappointed in myself for potentially upsetting my friend and also not getting that good time that I had planned with the Lord.

Once we got to the Market, all was well again. I went with the intentions of of buying goat cheese spread, I have been craving it for weeks (and NO, I am NOT pregnant, I just get crazy cravings sometimes). I not only got my delicious goat cheese but a few other things as well-- some fresh eggs, pork country sausage, chipotle pimento cheese, and a 1/2 gallon of chocolate milk.

When we got back from the Market, Leeland was getting fussy and ready for his morning nap. We're very lucky-- Leeland currently still takes 2 naps a day. Once I got him fed breakfast and down for his nap, I decided to cook myself some breakfast.

So with Leeland down for a nap I got to enjoy my delicious breakfast and get some good reading in and take my shower all after the Farmer's Market. Isn't it funny when we have plans and intentions that don't go as planned but work out for the better. I don't know that anythings better than reading God's Word with a side of fresh eggs and toast with goat cheese!


And I will leave you with a couple smiles from yesterday-- a beautiful weekend it has been, but it's back to work tomorrow.

A boy and his balloon

My One Word.

     So I heard on K-Love sometime at the beginning of the year this new idea about choosing one word to focus on throughout the year.  They call it the "Un-Resolution".  As you all know, I already had chosen to do a new year's resolution so I shrugged this one word thing off and decided it wasn't for me.  And then they continued to talk about it-- several of the hosts were talking about what their word was and lots of listeners called in sharing their words and stories.... I got to thinking and looked up the website for more information and the concept slowly grew on me. One Word
     Little did I know, that God was really working on teaching me something.  This past week I have been pretty stressed and down about our financial situation.  Sometimes, we women, let our emotions get the best of us and we don't think-- Or at least I feel like I'm this way sometimes.  The Lord took care of me and my family for 9 months while I wasn't working, I don't know why I would sell him short now.  He's got us covered, we always have exactly what we need..... but as the story goes, I ran out of make-up this weekend and we couldn't afford to buy some new until Daniel's payday.  I was going to go a week without my make-up, I was devastated and I threw myself a pity party.  Apparently I was the only one invited to the pity party, and enjoyed laying around the house crying and being emotional about how "poor" we are.  Ridiculous right?  (For the record, I regret ever using the word "poor" even if it was only in my mind, because we are not poor... we are BEYOND blessed)
     With that said, it caused a little heart to heart with my mother-in- law and also with my hubby about our current situation.  Daniel didn't go to an expensive private school and get a degree to work retail the rest of his life.  It works for some, but we need to pay the bills.... And if I may indulge and be selfish for a little moment, I want some more babies!  :0)  Daniel has a dream of becoming a football coach (preferably at the college level) but that is going to take some time to pursue, and hard work.  In the mean time, he is looking for something full-time with benefits for our family...... So now that you know a little bit of the financial stress, I've been under, back to the "one word" thing.....
     I've blogged previously about my love for Proverbs 3:5-6.  The part that I loved so much previously was the "lean not on your own understanding".  It was so fitting for 2010, and how the Lord blessed us and took care of us while I wasn't working.  I don't know how it worked out, but we always had food and always had a roof over our heads.  So when I initially started thinking about my word, I thought it should be "trust", but I was reading over the verse again last week and was slapped in the face by another word-- "SUBMIT".  The NIV version of the two verses reads like this, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him,  and he will make your paths straight." I don't think the Lord could've hit me any harder with the word submit.  When you are a control freak, a planner, very much type A, it is SO difficult to submit to someone else... even if it is God. I find myself repeating the word over and over and reminding myself that I don't need to make our family's plans for the next 6 months, I need to follow the path the Lord has set out for us and see what's in store.  This past Sunday at church we talked about the book of Joshua and how Joshua and his people were headed to the promise land.  However a couple of the tribes stopped just shy of the promise land and settled saying that the land was perfect for crops and cattle. They literally settled but they also sold themselves short-- although that land was suitable, it wasn't the promise land and they missed out on something even better! I don't want our family to settle and miss out on a blessing just because I'm a control freak.  I'm trying to SUBMIT.....

First Family Christmas Card

Lean not...

     Time and time again I am reminded of God's sovereignty.  I recently met with an old friend at Starbucks for coffee-- she wanted to meet up and talk about life and being a stay at home mom.  She doesn't currently have any kids but was thinking for the future as her and her husband intend to have children.  She had questions about how Daniel and I make it work.  This particular meeting was set up about a week in advance via Facebook messaging.  I was honored to meet with her and talk to her about being a SAHM, advocating for SAHM's and try to give her accurate information.  With this said, I had a week or so to get my thoughts together.  I don't really remember our entire conversation, and we sat and talked for about 3 hours-- the only thing I remember is leaving the Starbucks in complete awe of God's grace, love, and SOVEREIGNTY! 

     Looking back at the conversation as I got in the car to leave the Starbucks, I don't even think I gave her any true information.  The only thing I remember is telling her how God has worked in our family and my life over the past year.  This year has been a whirl wind for me, and I'm pretty sure for Daniel also. (SN: Can you believe we're a week away from Thanksgiving? WOW!)  In May 2009, I graduated for UNCG with a Bachelor's degree in Social Work.  I applied for probably upwards of 50 jobs not sure of where the Lord would take me (at the time I was still working at Starbucks).  I found out in July that I had gotten a social work position at "The American Children's Home" in Lexington.  I was SO stoked to finally use the degree I had studied  hard for, to work full-time, and to have a regular 8-5 schedule.  Probably about a week or so later I found out that I was pregnant with Leeland.  I had taken a home pregnancy test and the results were verified by my physician with a blood test.  I was incredibly excited! I jumped up and down in the kitchen on the phone with one of the nurses at my doctor's office and I'm pretty sure I let out a little squeal too.  It wasn't in our plans that I get pregnant only 8 months into our marriage, but it was God's plan.  

     No, we didn't plan to get pregnant with Leeland, but we weren't worried because I had a new job! It's so comforting to know that God provided me with a job before he provided me with the baby.  (I think He knows that I'm kind of a worry wart.)  My job at the children's home began as part-time so I continued working at Starbucks until the job went full-time in October.  There was a lot of stress that came along with that job, but I can honestly say that I truly LOVED it! I loved the kids that I worked with, the social workers I worked with, I even didn't mind writing the reports and doing the paper work. It was what I went to school for, and what I was meant to do at the time.  

     After working at the children's home for only 8 months, I was laid off.  The reason that I was given was that they were downsizing from 3 social workers to 2 as there weren't as many children.  I don't know if that is the  real reason I was laid off, but I have to trust that it is because that is what they said--and if it's true, then I believe it's a good thing that there are less kids at the group home.  I didn't take the lay off easy.  I was 8 months pregnant, Daniel was trying to finish up school, we would have to provide for a baby soon and I loved my job! I was very stressed, nervous and anxious.  I immediately started applying for ALL kinds of jobs and received no fruits from any of it.  

     Looking back, the lay off has been a total blessing in disguise.  Originally before I found out that I was being laid off, I had only planned to take 8 weeks off work.  I didn't think that we could afford to be without my income for the full 12 weeks.  Since being laid off, I have been at home with my sweet baby boy for 7 months! Being at home with Leeland is something that was taboo to me and something that I never thought was possible.  I don't want to give you a false impression-- it hasn't been an easy 7 months (not that I expected it to be) but it has been a blessing!  We had to make some cut backs, we don't go out to eat as often, or on dates as often (it's hard for Daniel to pry me away from Leeland anyways), we don't go shopping as often (that really only effects me), we are more careful at the grocery store.... 

     On top of the cut backs, Daniel has had to pick up a 2nd job.  He bounces downtown at a bar/club 2 nights a week.  The position opened up about 2 months after Leeland was born.  At first I really didn't like the idea, and still don't care for him to be gone so late at night (10pm-3am), but it has grown on me for one reason.  Well two, 1. we need the extra cash and 2. hearing of the impact he has had in the lives of those that work with him.  Many of the other bouncers (Daniel knew some before hand) were very curious when Daniel started working there.  Daniel is a righteous, Bible believing, conservative christian man.  I think they all wondered why he was there, and also were very curious about what Daniel would do given certain situations.  I'm sure he had quite the audience his 1st night.  Daniel has talked to several of the guys about God, a couple came to church with us (have now found there own church where they feel comfortable). And he even took a few out the the David Crowder Band/Chris August concert.  I don't like that Daniel is away from Leeland and I, I don't like that he has to be out so late at night, but God has shown us that he is exactly where he needs to be at this point in our life.  God is shining a light through Daniel at that night club and it has been fun to watch.  The night's that Daniel works downtown I get on my knees before I go to bed and I pray for his safety, for his spiritual protection (he has witnessed some bad things), and for his witness to others.  You can pray for him too, if you wish.

     All of this said, I want all of you to know that my God truly is an awesome God!  He is the one running the show over hear at the Kroh house, and I can't help but sit back in awe!  I have no idea what the future holds for us-- finances are currently pretty tight, as they are for lots of people.  I have applied for a couple part-time jobs (20 hours a week) and have considered going back to school for either my Master's degree or a 2nd Bachelor's.  We're doing a lot of praying about our future.  Daniel wants to pursue his dream of being a college football coach and I can't wait to see it happen.  Until then, we're trusting in the Lord and following after Him whole hearted. Because the only way that I can describe the whirl wind of this past year is,

 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 

And lean not on your own understanding; 

In all your ways acknowledge Him, 

And He shall direct your paths." --Proverbs 3:5-6

Forgiveness and God's Sovereignty

   For the past few months, I have been trying to read through the Old Testament.  I started with Ruth and continued on through Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Daniel and just finished up Genesis.  I've heard many of the stories in the Old Testament and dabbled in it before but never truly read through the books myself.  I have been enjoying this study time although sometimes it's difficult hearing so many "begets". :D
     It was revealed to me this past summer the struggle that I have been having with forgiveness and past hurts.  I think that forgiveness is a struggle for many people because it isn't something that you can do alone.  True forgiveness comes from God, and it is only through His strength that we can truly forgive others.  Without giving too many details for the sake of time, and also at the risk of gossip, I had my feelings hurt a while back by who I would consider close friends.  It was a hard transitional time in my life dealing with those hurts.  I cried about it and thought about it for many months.  However, I also prayed about it and felt that I was working through the pain and forgiving those who hurt me.... Who probably didn't even know they had hurt me.  I remember specifically speaking with Daniel about it and even giving him advice on forgiveness and about how we just have to give it to God and not harbor bad feelings.
    This past summer, for whatever reason-- bitterness began to rise in my heart.  I was dwelling on the hurts from the past, and thinking malicious thoughts of the people who hurt me.  I had no idea where it came from.  I couldn't believe that I felt so terribly about those people, especially since the events were far in the past and I had supposedly already forgiven.  Since then it has been a daily struggle to not let these emotions get the best of me.  With that said, I finished Genesis today and God's sovereignty was revealed to me once again.  
    Genesis 37 tells the story of Joseph being sold by his brothers to Egypt.  Joseph had 12 brothers and they conspired against him.  They were originally going to kill him, but decided against it.  Joseph ended up making his way to the top in Egypt (Genesis 41) and was essentially hired by the Pharaoh to be somewhat a governor in Egypt.  Joseph achieved this high position by interpreting dreams for the Pharaoh.  The interpretation of one of the dreams was about a famine coming over the land for 7 years.  In Genesis 42 the famine is in full force and Joseph's brothers travel to Egypt for food for the family.  Their father Jacob sent them.  Joseph recognizes them but they do not recognize him.  Long story short, he assists them and helps them out all that he can.  He provides them with sacks of food and even gives them there money back so that they get the food for free.  The brothers come back again, and he takes care of them again.  In the end (leaving out a few details) Jacob dies and Joseph goes to bury him in the land of Canaan.  After Jacob's death, the brothers are a bit nervous that Joseph may lash out on them for what they did to him when he was young, selling him to the Egyptians.  They go to Joseph to ask him about it and Joseph says,
          "Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of
          God?  But as for you, you meant evil against
          me; but God meant it for good, in order to 
          bring it about as it is this day, to save
          many people alive.  Now therefore, do not be
          afraid; I will provide for you and your little
          ones."  -Genesis 50:19-21
Joseph forgave his brothers and went above and beyond that.  He rescued them and took care of them during the famine.  They were going to kill him, and they sold them off when he was young and yet he was able to forgive.  Not only did he forgive them but he kept his trust in God that it was all a part of His plan.  He puts all the control on God, that they sold him and put him in the high position and that he was blessed to have been able to take care of them.  
    With that said, I can only trust that decisions were made and actions were taken because God was in control.  I don't truly know why what happened did, but I know that God has a plan for those people and also for me.  I have to keep trusting that this is all a part of his plan and just continue to pray that the bitterness will wash away and I will truly be able to forgive like Joseph did and like Christ did for me.  

Teach your children....

Since becoming a Mother I have discovered the MANY joys of being a parent.  Babies are SO much fun!!! Granted there is a lot of work involved, but the reward is so worth it.  Leeland is like a little sponge! He's very active and lately has become VERY observative. It's so much fun to watch him look at the world around him and learn new things.  All the baby books talk about the importance of naming objects and reading books to him so I've tried my best to use proper words for things and have made it my goal to teach him what he needs to know.  It's so crazy to think that Daniel and I are responsible for him learning his first words, putting together sentences, learning the stove is hot, not to trust strange dogs.... and the list goes on.   But in the Kroh family it's also important for him to learn about Jesus.  

Psalms says this, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior; So are the children of one's youth.  Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;" (127:3-5)  Daniel and I have been blessed with Leeland and hope to raise him up to be a Godly man.  Daniel and I aren't perfect and we don't know it all but we will teach him what we can and rely on friends and family to help also.  Recently I have spent some time reading Leeland the Bible while he plays.  For me, it's just enjoying my time in the Word with God, and for him he's just playing with his toys, but he hears his Mommy's voice, and he hears the Word of God. 

Deuteronomy says, "You shall love the Lord your God will all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall TEACH them DILIGENTLY to your children, and shall TALK of them when you sit in your house, when you WALK by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." (6:5-7)  I pray daily for Leeland, and pray every night when I put him to bed that he comes to know the Lord as his Savior just as Daniel and I have.  We are doing our best to surround him with the Word and be good examples to him.  He has verses posted all over his room, Daniel and I cut out secular music several years ago so he gets to hear songs of praise to the Lord ALL day long.  Daniel and I sing many of our favorites to him.  My hope is that he will never know who Lady GaGa or (insert latest rapper's name here) is! To some, they may think that we are depriving our child, or sheltering him from society.  But honestly our hope is that he will find peace and insurmountable joy in Christ which is better than anything that society has to offer!

To take it a step further, I have even found myself praying for Leeland's future wife.  If it is in the Lord's plan for him to be married, my hope is that he find's a Godly woman, a woman of the Word, the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31.  I pray for her most days and she may not even be born yet.  The Lord knows her and knows her family though, and knows the day that they may meet. 

When it all boils down, there will be a day when Leeland will choose for himself whether he will follow the Lord or whether he will be led astray.  I hope that Daniel and I are planting the seeds necessary for him to choose the narrow path, the path of righteousness.  Proverbs says, "A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother." (10:1) From this we learn that we should raise our children with the end in sight knowing that one day they will make their own choices.  And in our house, if Leeland chooses a different direction, it won't be because we didn't pray, and it won't be because he didn't hear God's word, and it won't be because we didn't do our best to follow the Lord.