Yesterday

If you haven't been following our journey to buying our first home, this is the 4th post on the subject and you may want to start with House Hunting, followed by Under Contract, and then Trying to Have Hope.  If you've already read those posts, then you know that this has been quite the roller coaster ride of ups and downs for us.  Yesterday, August 10th was supposed to be our closing date on the house.  Of course as you can tell, it wasn't.  Since I last posted about the suspension of our loan, we "grieved" you could say over the house and felt like we were being forced to move on.  We were coming down to the wire of our contract extension, and it didn't seem the bank was willing to work with us-- I felt like I kept going in circles with them, and jumping all the hoops to no avail. 

Just when we started to research other options, such as re-signing our lease here at our apartment, searching home rentals etc. we found out that another mortgage broker could give us a chance.  He is extremely knowledgeable about the business and he is very passionate about putting people in houses.  When we started working with him we only had one week left and weren't sure if the sellers would be willing to hold the house for us.  I was super nervous about it-- of course if they didn't hold the house for us, he was willing to work out the financials so that we could start looking at other houses, but I just LOVE this house.  This is the house that I want, the house that I have had dreams about, the house that in my head, I already have the boys' rooms picked out and decorated. 

Anyway, through a wild turn of events yesterday, our last day in our due diligence period, and also the last day that we could put in our 60 day notice at our apartment, the sellers decided to continue to work with us.  Our mortgage broker wrote a letter on our behalf to the sellers that included a timeline of when he would be able to get the loan done.  We essentially are back to the pre-approval stage.  Our new closing date is set for September 6th! 

I'm completely in shock by all of this-- I haven't been able to hash out all of the details in full on the blog because quite frankly our finances are our business, but I will say that this has just been the craziest transaction ever.  We have nearly lost the house and extended our contract/due diligence period at least 4 times.  I mean we were literally down to the last hour yesterday-- not only with the house, but also if we were going to re-sign with our apartment for the next year it had to have been done by yesterday at 5pm.  I'm in awe of the timing and I know that only God could have worked these miracles in all of the time crunches.  We are really excited and praying hard that it works out this time. 

I finished a book ;)

Much of my life I didn't really care for reading books as a hobby/leisure activity. Well... maybe I enjoyed reading as a tot, I don't really remember that far back.  But as far back as middle school, high school and college, I was always in honors and AP classes and had loads of reading and studying assigned to me.  Plus I was super busy-- in High School, I not only played sports but I also worked a part-time job starting at age 15.  I had bills to pay-- car insurance, cell phone, gas money, spending money....  And in college, life got even busier with more work (rent money), classes, internship, I planned a wedding and got married my Senior year.  Just a hectic time.

When I graduated College and started my 1st "real" full time job as a social worker at a group home, working regular 8-5 hours, I was honestly amazed by how much free time I had!  I know, it sounds really weird to spend the majority of your wakeful time at work and say that you have a load of free time, but I truly felt like I did because I only had one thing to focus on, and it wasn't a lot of hopping from here to there.  (Oh, and don't forget weekends off! Say what!?) With all of that said, I started reading again, and I LOVED it.  For once in my life I had the choice of what to read and could read at my own pace.  I was flying through books! And then... came a baby.  Leeland of course.  The first few months were a breeze because he pretty much slept and ate all the time, so I still felt like I had free time.  Then he started crawling... and walking... and running and got into everything.  And his naps became shorter and shorter.... And then came baby number two!

Amongst all the chaos of life and kids, I would start books and not finish them.  Sometimes starting the same book several times.  I just didn't have the time.  Or if there was a free moment, I would choose something that required less energy and brain waves, like a nap! :)

Anyways, the point of this post is meant to be celebratory if I can ever get there.  Today, for the first time in like a year (sad I know)  I finished a book!! Haha!  I feel so accomplished!  And the beauty of it is that it's only the first in a series, so I have a couple more to go!

2 In Cloth

Several people have asked about what it's like to have 2 babies in cloth diapers, and being completely honest, not a lot has changed from having 1 in cloth diapers.  With Hayden almost 6 months old, I didn't anticipate having both boys in cloth this long, but after trying to potty train Leeland 3 times already and not succeeded, here we are with 2 boys in cloth diapers still. 

Hayden wore disposable diapers for the first 2 weeks of his life.  (Not that I remember much from that time period....) We didn't make the transition to cloth for 2 weeks because I was sleep deprived and constantly nursing and I wasn't washing our clothes really, much less diapers.  At 2 weeks old we began using pre-folds and covers.  Hayden wore size small Oso Cozy pre-folds and I had 5 Thirsties Duo covers.  At this point it was pretty much like Hayden had his own set of diapers and Leeland had his own set of diapers so I still only did laundry every 3-4 days.  I LOVE pre-folds.... and I sort of miss them.  He grew out of those pretty quickly. 

At around 3 1/2 - 4 months, the pre-folds stopped wrapping around my little chunk's body so we transitioned him into wearing our one-size diapers.  These are the diapers that Leeland wears-- we have a collection of mostly bumGenius 4.0's, some Kawaiis, Fuzzibunz, Charlie Banana and a couple "no name" diapers.  With the transition to the one-size diapers I have had to bump up to doing laundry every 2 days, but other than the extra laundry it has been really easy.  Because Leeland is so skinny and Hayden is so chunky, they wear their one-size dipes literally on the SAME setting-- same rise and same snap around the waist.  It's kind of weird that they wear the exact same size diapers, but at the same time it's really nice and makes my job easier.  The only difference I do between the two is that Leeland gets 2 inserts in his diaper because he's a heavier wetter and Hayden gets 1 insert.  Of course if I was ever in a "pinch" though and out with both boys and only 1 diaper, it wouldn't really matter how many inserts was in a diaper. 

We love our cloth diapers, loved them with one cloth tush and really love them with 2 cloth tushies! A lot of the reason for our switch to cloth diapers (almost 2 years ago) was because of Leeland's sensitive skin, but also because of tight finances-- and now that we are getting double the use out of our diapers cloth diapers have REALLY paid off! 

Loving Motherhood

I love that when Leeland and I sit on the couch, he sneaks closer and closer to me, says "snuggle" and expects me to put my arm around him.

I love that Hayden laughs and jumps, and jumps and jumps in the jumperoo until he passes out.

I love that when Hayden is crying, Leeland will shout over to him, "It's okay brother!"

I love that Hayden and Leeland can sit in the floor, staring at each other giggling about nothing.

I love the Leeland pats my back when he gives me a hug.

I love that Leeland sits on the end of his bed when he wakes up, though he can get out of his bed on his own, he waits for his Mom to come get him.

I love that Hayden gives the biggest grins and giggles when he's happily nursing.

I love that Hayden is incredibly ticklish and cracks up so hard at bath time and after bath lotion time at the slightest touch to his belly.

I love that Leeland knows exactly where we're headed when we drive certain directions and down certain roads.

I love Leeland's love of books, story time and the library.

I love Hayden's curiosity, and how he military crawls right into the middle of the toy pile where Leeland plays.

I love that Leeland wears a huge smile on his face when I call him a "big boy."

Loving every moment with my little boys.  We have our days, and there are times when I feel like I just want to count down to bed time, but these days will pass.... One day they won't want to be tickled, one day they'll move out and I'll have less opportunities for a hug... The boys are growing so fast, soaking in these precious moments.

Trying to Have Hope

A lot of folks have asked about our closing date on the house-- if you haven't read "House Hunting " and "Under Contract", you may want to start there to understand how the journey to hopefully home ownership has been for us.  Our closing date according to our contract is supposed to be August 10th, which is less than 2 weeks away and is sort of a gray area for us at this point.  We've hit a snag in the loan portion of the process.  Without delving too much into our personal finances and issues, I will just leave you with this one point--  I remember as early as High School and well into college speaking to advisers/counselors, and financial aid folks about student loans.  I remember being specifically told that student loans were a "great" option because they have low interest rates, no deadline to pay off, and that they "can't hurt you.".... Let's just say that we've learned as we have graduated and entered adult life, responsibilities, and pursuing purchasing our first home that student loans actually CAN hurt you and they have hurt us.  (Not to mention, with the current state of our economy... loans just aren't as easy as they used to be.)

We learned last week that the home loan we applied for has been "suspended"... don't know what that means? Neither do we really, other then it means that it has neither been approved or denied.  We're sort of floating, I guess you could say.  Our lender informed us that we met all the requirements for the computer aspect of the loan and that the computer approved us, however when our loan was sent off to the underwriter, at the bank, the underwriter "isn't sure" she wants to sign off on our loan.  She doesn't feel cozy about signing off on us.  I'm not gonna lie, I cried.  This whole process has been a roller coaster of ups and downs for me-- I've never wanted something so badly, and I've never been so stressed and frustrated in my life.  Our lender (bless her) keeps trying to offer us a bit of hope.... She told me on Thursday that it's a good sign that it was just suspended and not out right denied.  If it were denied there would be nothing left to do, but with suspended we have a 50/50 shot... a little wiggle room... a little persuasion.  She assures us that she has been advocating for us to the underwriter and that she's doing all that she can.

I just can't seem to shake the feeling that I want to put together a fancy power point, march over to the underwriter's office and pitch a presentation called "Sign Off On Us Because..." It's so hard to even to sit here and write this without welling up a bit-- 50/50 isn't the greatest of odds, and to think that one person could have such an impact on our life.  One of the hardest things about it is, it shouldn't be a shock if we aren't approved.  We're really just starting out.  We're both still so young, barely any credit, Daniel just started his career last year.  I mean we've only been married 3 years.  But our "just starting out" is with 2 kids.  The Lord has blessed us tremendously with two adorable, sweet little boys.  Most people have the career and the house and the perfect white picket fence before they begin having kids. In the beginning of our marriage, we never even thought about purchasing a home or settling down because we wanted to be able to get up and move to where ever the Lord took us-- we were both still in college when we got married and we weren't sure what kind of jobs we would find.  I don't know how our families felt about it, but we were always both open to even moving states.  In the midst of all the undecided Leeland came along... and soon after that Hayden.  Daniel was blessed with a great job opportunity and sure enough, we're sticking around.

All this is just to say-- that where we are now.... where our contract is now... is just clinging to a hope.  A hope that we get a chance.  The Lord has walked this journey with us, and even in the midst of the frustrations of house hunting, I've felt His presence there.  Ultimately I've placed it in His hands-- I can't say that I have no emotions about it, or won't be disappointed if things fall through because that simply isn't true.   But I'm just trying to trust in His plan, and the blessings He has in store for our family and our boys.